A:
You’d think that, after eating at so many cudfests, where hordes of ravenous visitors and locals and kids and so on are all vying for food food food now now now, we’d’ve seen some wacky things over the years.
But our overriding impression is that, at scenes so suitable for strangeness, Las Vegas buffets are ordinarily quite subdued and genteel, with well-behaved patrons and well-run rooms.
Except for this one memorable moment.
We were just sitting there, minding our own sustenance business at a buffet that shall remain nameless, when a fairly heavyset man started walking toward us. The reason he caught our eye was that he was carrying two plates, one in each hand, piled very high with food.
He was wearing a loose-fitting sweatshirt a couple sizes too small, which allowed us to see that his also-loose-fitting sweat pants seemed to be drooping lower and lower, from his waist to his hips to …
Right as he passed us, the sweat pants picked just that moment to give up the elastic ghost and fall to his ankles, revealing black boxer shorts decorated with orange ovals containing the logo of a famous superhero.
Holy Discomfiture, Batman!
What now?
Well, the man stopped, looked at the plates in his hands, then down at the sweat pants bunched up around his tennis shoes, then back at his hands, shaking his head the whole while.
Then he simply shuffled forward again, gray sweats dragging along the floor. In his Batman boxers and too-small sweatshirt, he looked like he was just about to get into bed.
We tried not to make it too obvious that we were still watching, as he continued on to his table, put down his plates, and pulled up his pants.
But the most amazing thing about the entire incident was this: No one, besides us, noticed.
Update 19 December 2016
"Many years ago, a group of very big women tried to monopolize the crab-leg station at The Orleans. Since I'm from Metro Detroit, I am not easily intimidated. I jumped in and used the other pair of foods tongs. This almost caused a food fight, which is very uncommon at Vegas buffets, but (they say) happens all the time in Detroit casinos such as the MGM Grand. It's a city with only 3 casinos. In Vegas, we once saw a "chef" run his bare fingers through several pounds of shredded cheese to prep it. We haven't eaten at the Monte Carlo Buffet ever since. Yum!"
"Regarding today's QOD on strange things in buffets, I recall one strange occurrence back in the '70s (I was a teen in LV with my grandparents), when security was called on a group of older ladies who were apparently attempting to smuggle some extra deserts out of the buffet in their handbags. This raises the question, do any of the current buffets allow patrons to take food away?"
Yes, some buffets allow you to pay to take food out, but no buffet we know of will let you bring your own doggy bags to load up and take home. Nor can you share a plate; everyone who walks in pays.
"In regards to today's QofD about the wackiest thing ever seen at a Vegas buffet, one time I saw an entire wedding party, Bride in her wedding dress, Groom in his tux, all the bridesmaids and groomsmen fully dressed up, and all their guest eating at the buffet. At first I thought it was tacky, but quickly realized it was a brilliant cost cutting move, as everyone got exactly the meal they wanted (including Prime Rib, Crab Legs, Shrimp, etc.) at a substantial savings off what it would have cost them to rent out a reception hall and have the meal catered!"
"My favorite buffet story: The guy on line behind me who bitched that he had just lost $300 playing Blackjack and all he got in return was the free buffet. His answer: 'I'm going to eat $300 of their food even if it kills me!'"
"One of my favorite things at a buffet was at the now-rebranded Hilton. At one time, they served exquisite desserts with edible gold leaf."
"A lady (and a very large one at that) on our tour bus to a casino in Tunica pulled a Cousin Eddie, filling her plate sky high and also filling some zip lock bags to go. This did not go unnoticed by the buffet manager, who advised our tour director that this lady is forbidden to dine at this buffet in the future. Trespassed from a buffet? Though she got out with the goods that day, I suspect she will return anyway."
"The one time we decided to check out Atlantic City, we were eating at Harrah's. We noticed this guy slipping shrimp into a shopping bag on the floor. The staff caught on and called security, who hauled him and his ill gotten shrimp out the back door. The strange thing was that from the time he sat down till caught, he ate absolutely nothing."
"More buffet stories: I once asked what happened to my favorite donuts at Harrah's buffet in Laughlin. She pulled out a hidden tray for me and said they hide them from an incoming tour bus because the folks usually fill up their purses with them. And never forget the Chinese buffet in Florida that was closed by the health department when caught scrapping left over food from plates back into serving trays. UGH!!"
"It wasn't a buffet, but Anthony Curtis was playing a BJ tournament at the Four Queens and we were eating dinner at the Frontier. A.C. showed up late as usual, and his dinner arrived just before his starting time. He said he could eat the whole dinner in 60 seconds and, to our amazement, he did."
A.C. remembered another buffet incident: "The best crustacean deal of all time was unintentional. The Santa Fe debuted a new seafood buffet for something like $9.99 and put whole lobsters in bushel baskets around the dining area. The lobsters were meant only for show, but when the doors opened, people went straight for the baskets and ate them all."
Deke Castleman adds, "I've eaten a lot of buffets with Anthony Curtis over the 26 years I've worked at Huntington Press. This one time, we were on a tight
LVA deadline (as always) and we had to eat a new lunch buffet in order to review it for the newsletter. Meanwhile, A.C. had to appear on camera for a Travel Channel show at a
different lunch buffet that same day, where we also had to eat. It wasn't the only time we ate two buffets in one day, but it
was the only time either of us ate two same-meal buffets in one day. (And I'm still recovering.)"
No part of this answer may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without the written permission of the publisher.
