Question of the Day - 07 October 2023

We answered a similar question in 2018 and got lots of good responses, which we've incorporated into this answer.

From time to time, we also inquire at buffets, especially when we too eat alone, how to let the server know we're still there. Ultimately, it's easier to let the server know that you're not coming back than it is that you are. 

Not too long ago, one advised us to take the buffet receipt when we left. Several commenters in the previous QoD mentioned this method as well.

Of course, a tip on the buffet table is the clearest sign that you're done and the server should pick up the money and get the table ready for the next pack o' chow hounds. 

But what if a buffet table is full of stiffs or just one?

One buffet informant told us that she can often tell by the way people cross their tableware on their plates, sometimes placing their napkins on top. Other times, people at her tables catch her eye and wave goodbye, say thank you, blow a kiss, or make a point of telling her that they're through. Mostly, though, she's always roaming her section, paying close attention to what's happening at her tables.

We also have to figure that if a server is unsure and there's no money on the table, he or she probably waits a few minutes to see if the diners have left. Which might be one subtle reason why tables remain dirty for a time, even while the line to get into the buffet stretches to the parking garage.

One commenter noted that he was gone a long time from his table while perusing dessert options, so the server not only cleared his table, but a new party had already sat down! If you're alone, it's probably a good idea not to be gone too long. 

Napkin etiquette, as hinted at by that buffet informant, is a whole other can of worms.

We've observed many buffet-goers place their napkins on their chairs or even drape them over the backs as evidence that they're returning. One commenter in the previous QoD placed it over his drink as a signal. 

Some restaurant etiquette advice gets downright specific about exactly where to leave a napkin and when. Most agree that you fold it loosely (never wadded) and place it to the left of your plate when you're coming back and to the right of your plate when you're finished. We didn't know that -- bunch of uncultured thugs that we are. 

We liked what one commenter on a buffet-etiquette page suggested: "When leaving the table with the intention of returning with a new plate of food, it's appropriate to grab your napkin near the center, form it into a rocket ship, and place it in blast-off position immediately in front of your plate." It's as good as any, we figure.

Other commenters make it a point to bring a personal item to leave on the table that no one else will, presumably, want. A ballcap, a book or magazine, a pair of cheap reading glasses, a sweater to drape over the back of your chair, even a business card with "I'll be back" written out were suggested. 

In short, doing something -- and just about anything -- to signal your server that you're still occupying the table should do the trick. And if not, what's the worse that can happen? You'll be seated somewhere else to continue your cudfest.