The last week in March, 2012, Shirley and I spent a week aboard the Norwegian Epic. This is the largest ship in the NCL line, although there are at least two larger ships on other cruise lines. With 4,000 passengers and a crew of 2,000, it is a floating city.
We were on the Epic a little over a year ago and not particularly eager to go back. Still, I qualified for a Harrah’s “Level 3 Experience,” which entitled us to a spa suite. This was supposed to be quite a bit nicer than the normal rooms. This was a use-it-or-lose-it cruise. Give Shirley a vote on this and it means we were going cruising.
The Harrah’s Level 3 Experience required $5 million coin-in in calendar 2011. There were plenty of opportunities in 2011 to make this a positive-EV play. In 2012, I’m not so sure. Our biggest plays were every-three-months drawings where they gave $1,000 in cash away to each of 100 people. Playing $1,000,000 on 9/6 Jacks or Better or so during these drawings earned me eight or ten of the $1,000 prizes. Since my expected loss was $4,600 for this much play, the drawings more than covered this.
In addition, they frequently provided $3,500 or $5,000 “appearance money” when I showed up to play. The “theoretical” of 9/6 Jacks last year was about 0.9%. This year it has been cut in half. That means that now I get $1,500 or $2,500 in appearance money for the same play and the drawings have become so well-known that $1,000,000 in play might earn me three or four $1,000 prizes. It’s probably slightly positive EV — I’m not sure because you never really know what you’re going to earn in the drawings — and the swings are just as big. Putting up with losing $50,000 occasionally (while waiting for the all-too-rare $100,000 royals) when I am sure I have the advantage is one thing. When I’m not sure, it’s something else entirely.
At least to me. Shirley doesn’t understand the nuances of what makes a promotion good or not. But she does understand winning or losing $50,000.
So we got the spa suite. The suite about twice as wide as the normal rooms and is dominated by a circular about-queen-sized bed. There was a good-sized Jacuzzi in the corner. One of the nicest features of the room was you could go around the bed clockwise or counter-clockwise. In a normal room you frequently bump into your roommate — there’s simply not enough room to pass. That’s fine on your honeymoon, but . . . Here, you only had to bump into your roommate if you wanted to.
The spa included daily access to the wet areas in the spa — i.e. the pools, saunas, etc. Shirley likes spas and went several times. I went once. It’s not my thing.
The suites had access to “The Haven,” a private-area for the 75 largest suites on the ship. A private dining room, concierge-and-butler service, and private pools and sunbathing areas. There was even a “Freestyle” sun-bathing area — which was fun to think about.
I spent the first 45+ years of my life near Los Angeles and for about three years in the mid-to-late 1970s I’d spend more than 100 days a year at a nude beach — and then in the evenings go and play backgammon. At the time I was about 30 years old, single, fit, and bronzed all over. I fit in well at the beach. There were also some 65-year-old guys who’d come to gawk. Sometimes they’d bring binoculars and check out the women 20 feet away. “Those guys” made everybody uncomfortable.
Now I’m 65. I’m not interested in being one of “those guys.” So I can’t report from first-hand experience what Freestyle sunbathing really means on the Epic. Besides, most people look better dressed than undressed. Nudism is fun to fantasize about — but the actuality is not fantasy material.
There was one positive-EV play I found playing video poker in the NCL casino. They had a program where if you pay $250 now you can use the money towards any future NCL cruise within four years. Plus they give you a $100 rebate immediately if you sign up for this. Since we’ve already qualified for at least two more NCL cruises within the next year, this was a no-brainer.
If you took the $100 rebate certificate to the casino they would turn it into $125 in play-it-through-once free play. The games were dreadful — 7/5 Jacks or Better, 6/5 Bonus Poker, 5-of-a-kind Joker Poker, 16-13 Deuces Wild, and 8/5 Double Double Bonus. These games all had returns in the 96%-97% range. But if you’re only playing $125 through, your expectation is lose about $5 — leaving you with $120 instead of $100. Yes you can lose — many people do — especially if you keep playing after you’ve played the requisite $125, but it’s still a good deal.
My main “job” on a cruise ship is to take Shirley dancing at least an hour every night. Most other ships in the NCL line have better dancing opportunities than the Epic does. Still, we made the best of it. In the main dining room, the Manhattan, they have a live band and a dance floor that was big enough if there were only one or two couples on it. The meals at the Manhattan were not the same quality as what we could get up in the Haven. So sometimes we ate at the Manhattan, and sometimes we ate at the Haven and later went to the Manhattan for dancing only.
There was a larger dance floor in the Atrium area — and the duo who performed there played an acceptable mix of music. But the way the casino was ventilated was to let the cigarette smoke drift over lots of other parts of the ship — including the Atrium area. We did dance there a bit, but Shirley’s health simply doesn’t allow her to spend much time there.
I don’t know if I’ll play $5 million coin-in at Harrah’s in 2012 — or even if the “Spa Suite” option on Epic will be on the list if I do. Paying retail for the suite is not going to happen. We can afford it, I suppose, but paying retail for luxury isn’t the way we choose to spend our money. Nor will I play bad games in a casino to get the suite officially “for free” but in actuality it would cost a lot more than retail. Still, the suite was very nice and we’re glad we went.