There is no ethical or moral sinkhole so deep that prediction markets cannot find an even lower abyss to plumb. They may, however, have reached their nadir this week. Polymarket started taking bets on—we kid you not—whether nuclear war would break out over the Middle East. We weren’t there to see it but we’re pretty damn sure that, when Jesus Christ was being crucified on Golgotha, Polymarket CEO Shayne Coplan (above) was among those gleefully shooting dice for His clothing.
In a recent Nevada court hearing, Polymarket’s legal mouthpiece had the nerve to say “We are the regulator” of event contracts. Not the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (a paper tiger at best), not Congress, not the states and certainly not gambling regulators. No, Polymarket itself. How’s that working out? Pretty damned shitty, we can tell you. Don’t forget that Polymarket is the platform taking wagers on whether Nancy Guthrie is alive or not.
There you see the evidence of Polymarket’s guilt, big as life and twice as ugly. Should somebody drop the Big One, who do these morally bankrupt tech bros think will be around to collect on the wagers? What a clueless bunch of assholes. Fortunately, public outrage was so swift and strong that Polymarket took down its Doomsday bet. But the damage to the event-contract industry’s image has been done—and not a moment too soon. This is absolute lowest, most toxic form of gambling and—thanks to a supine federal government—it is raging, uncontrolled and unregulated, across the United States. There’s a reason that industry bodies like the American Gaming Association are right to be affronted by prediction markets. Big Gaming would like to see them stamped out. So would many politicians, liberal and conservative alike. So would we.
On a happier note, casinos in Illinois fairly erupted in February, leaping 17% on a same-store basis (i.e., after newish Fairmont Park is subtracted). The good news for new Hollywood Joliet was that it leapfrogged its predecessor by 63%, grossing $11 million. The not-so-good news was that it was down 2% from January, although three fewer days cannot have helped. Not one casino in the Land of Lincoln was revenue-negative, although aging Harrah’s Joliet was virtually flat with February 2025.
At $42 million, Rivers Des Plaines was up 11.5% and way out front. Bally’s Casino, in Chicago, was 16.5% higher at $10 million and tied for revenue with The Temporary at American Place, which hopped 11.5% and is the apple of the eye of Full House Resorts. However, Wind Creek Southland zoomed past almost everyone on its way to $19 million, vaulting 40%. Hard Rock Rockford claimed third place in the state with $13.5 million, a jump of 21%. Hollywood Aurora, soon to be replaced, made $8 million, up 4%, and venerable Grand Victoria was up 17% to $11.5 million. Outside Chicagoland, the most spectacular performance was that of Bally’s Quad Cities, up 21.5% to $6 million. Par-A-Dice gained 15.5% to $5 million and Harrah’s Metropolis made $5 million on a 6% gain. Fairmont Park eked out $2 million, Golden Nugget Danville jumped 19.5% to $3.5 million and Walker’s Bluff Casino hopped 14% to $3 million. In the St. Louis market, DraftKings Casino Queen made $6.5 million (3.5%) and Argosy Belle did $3 million (13%).
Less fortunate were casinos in Maryland. They slumped 4% on week table play. Only three casinos were revenue-positive and one of them was (believe it or not) Horseshoe Baltimore. This red-headed stepchild of Caesars Entertainment was up 1% to $14 million. Rocky Gap Resort also beat the odds to the tune of $4 million (9%), which should brighten Century Casinos‘ next earnings call—if they ever get around to holding it. (Century is AWOL from earnings season.) MGM National Harbor was down 3% to a still-whopping $65 million, while Maryland Live slumped 9% to $52 million. Ocean Downs was up 3% to $6 million while Hollywood Perryville dipped 4% to $7 million. Better luck this month, guys.
Making a statement. One gambler had enough of the slot holds at Hollywood Penn National and found a novel—if unsanitary—method of conveying his displeasure. He urinated on a bank of slot machines. Cops were called and found a 59-year-old man who insisted he had done nothing wrong. (Nearby customers might disagree.) He became “physically resistant” and was handcuffed for his pains. He was also believed to be drunk. No shit … as it were.