Naughty Patty’s is an original eatery from the feverish imagination of the the food and beverage department at Cosmopolitan; it’s an addition to Las Vegas’ first food hall, Block 16, in Cosmo’s second floor.
It’s high smashburger concept: Patty’s a pinup, “bold and not here to behave.” She “breaks the rules, a little sinful and unapologetically indulgent, making mouths water and pulses race, with buns that won’t quit and sauces worth spilling.” Slogans around the old-diner-style joint include “Cookin’ up Heaven While Raisin’ Hell,” “Let’s Meat Up,” and “You Can’t Spell Juicy without ‘You’ and ‘I.’”
It’s cute and all and the Naughty smashburger is pretty good — well seared, fresh toppings (lettuce, tomato, onion, special sauce, crinkle dills, slice of American cheese), served on a potato roll. The big flat burger spills way out from the smallish bun; we had to use the (plastic) knife and fork to trim it, so we could pick it up.
They also serve two hot dogs, plain ($11) and dirty with “not-quite chili” ($15), grilled cheese ($11), and fries, naked or seasoned ($6) and with chili ($11). Concretes, super-thick frozen custard blended with milk n’ cookies or strawberry shortie, are $10 and draft root beer is $7, regular draft beer $12.
We also tried the root beer, which is made from scratch: several pumps of syrup, then soda, then ice. It turned out exactly how we like it, more beery than rooty, not too sweet and nicely flavorful.
Then … you look at the bill. For the Patty Meal (smashburger, fries, root beer, and tax), we shelled out $28.15. A fast-food price? Hardly. Remember, this is the center Strip, where the meal might be fine (it was), but the tab will give you indigestion. And that was without paying for parking, since we walked in. Add the $20 fee and you’re talking about about nearly $50 for a fast-food burger, fries, and drink. Urp.