Do you OWE your kids a college education?

I think you pretty much answered your own question when you said financially it wouldn't be feasible for you to fully fund it anyways. No one owes anyone a thing. However, it sounds as if your daughter, through her hard work and good grades, has earned the priviledge of you helping her out as much as you can comfortably do so without second mortgages, second jobs, pulling money out of retirement, etc. I think that her helping pay for her own education will make her take it much more seriously. I went to community college right out of high school paid for by scholarships and my father. I partied and dropped out. 20 years later, I am attending a state university, paying for it myself through loans, work, etc., and have had 4.0 GPA the last 3 semesters. I take my own money much more seriously.

"I take my own money much more seriously."

So does everyone else in the world which is why the liberal idea of big government always has been and always will be doomed to fail.

I offered to help pay for my son's college education. He decided to join the military, consequently the Navy paid for his bachelors & masters degrees.
Yes, he is a lifer.

No kids, no problem.

Great responses. Thank you.

Yes I pretty much did answer my own question, but I like to hear other opinions. We will be able to help some, and my parents have said they will kick in a little as well. I think we can make it happen for her. Apparently DU is pretty generous with money (as are a lot of the private schools).

The next thing I am working to impress upon her is the advantage of having little or no debt when you graduate. As in, if after 4 years of DU you're going to owe 40k, but Belmont offers you almost a free ride and you would only owe 5k, that's a BIG DEAL.....even if that isn't your "perfect" school.

There's a lot of pressure on the kids though. They seem to think that if they don't find that "perfect" school then everything will be screwed up, they'll be unhappy, their life will end, blah blah blah. She has told me several times that her friends have said that when she finds the right school she will "just know it". Apparently it's like finding your soulmate. Whatever. The fact is, if she's decided between Belmont, Denver, Gonzaga, and USD, she's in a pretty good situation.

You decided to have a child...it is your responsibility as a parent to raise that child and give him/her the tools to become a productive & independent member of society. Before you get your undies in a bunch; that does NOT mean you should plunge into debt and risk your retirement future. You and your child have a lot of options. She gets good grades at a good school; she should be able to get some grants/scholarships. Think about going to the community college for a year or two; then head for the "Big U". That way she can stay a home to keep expenses low, work part-time to save up some dough and the tuition should be a lot less. I know of several people who have gone that route and their kids are doing fine. Once she is at the "Big U" she can continue to work part-time..every little bit helps. Then there are the student loans....you can use them, but keep them to a minimum....I work with several new graduates and I am astounded at their student loan debt...don't go that route. I totally agree with PJ about employers being more concerned about your abilities than where you went to school. I think you have the proper attitude; help out as much as you can, but don't "break the bank". It sounds like you have a good relationship with your daughter; she will understand that you have responsibilities not only to her but for your own financial future. I helped put my 3 kids thru college..one went to a private college..she picked up a lot of grants, lived frugally, worked part-time,etc. The other two went to small state colleges. I did work an extra part-time job..my decision...I still work part-time even though the kids are all out of school....I love my work, plus the extra money affords me little pleasures, like making 3 or 4 trips to Vegas a year....oh yeah! Give her a hug, she'll do well. Good luck.


Glasses can affect your vision; especially when they have been emptied several times..........

Spring Break 2000 !!!

She will be releasing a CD of original songs in about 2 months. When that sells a million copies this will all be moot anyhow.

I would suggest she get a "fulltime" job at the University of her choice and get "free tuition", as a result.

I just saw a story of an immigrant from Europe who worked as a janitor at a university and is now completing his Phd.

BIGLAR73 gave really good advice.

No you owe her nothing, anything you give is a gift. A rather rich friend of mine paid for his daughters college after she passed with a 3.0 or better after every semester. I liked his idea.