A headline ya don't see everyday

Fleeing cow maims jogger, heads to beer festival (this was the title of the hyperlink)

MAINZ, Germany – A cow escaped from a slaughterhouse and headed for the grounds of Munich's Oktoberfest Tuesday, triggering a high-speed police pursuit. The bovine, which fled after a worker mistakenly left a gate open, ran through the southern German city. A 28-year old woman who was out jogging was injured by the cow. “The animal stabbed its horns into the woman’s back, who had to be brought to a hospital with massive injuries,” police spokesman Carsten Neubert told NBC News.

The 1,200-pound animal ran toward the Oktoberfest field where workers were setting up tents for the beer festival, which is due to begin in two weeks. “The cow then tried to attack another person and was luckily blocked by a police vehicle, which eventually got damaged by the impact..."

Those damn terrorist cows.

I was surprised to read that the "cow" had horns.

Yes, cows have horns. Bulls too.

Technically, cows do not have horns...........as they are females.

Cows most definitely can have horns. It depends on the breed, not the gender.

Smart cow.
Slaughter vs beer fest. Good decision-making, goal oriented.

I stand corrected.

Hey, sometimes when you need a beer...you NEED a beer !

Q: "Why do cows wear bells ?"
A: "Because their horns don't work."

Emergency
A man staggers into the emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this" said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around I noticed that one of the cows had something white in it's rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake." "What did you do?", asked the doctor. "Well, I lifted the tail, pointed, and yelled to my wife, "Hey! This looks like yours!"

[n.b. If one replaces the phrase "A man" with "A retired President Obama" in the Emergency joke, above, it is significantly funnier. DonDiego specifically did not do so, as he opined some might find it offensive.]