Joke Of The Day

And for a little diversification.....

Giraffe walks into a crowded bar and yells, "Hey everyone, the high-balls are on me!!"

A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond are sitting in a doctors office, talking
about what sex of child they are going to have. The Brunette says " I am going to
have a boy because I was on top when having sex. The Redhead replied " I am
going to have a girl because I was on the bottom while having sex. Then the
Blond says hysterically  “ Oh my God, I am going to have puppies.

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman are sitting in a bar in New York reminiscing about home.

"Back in me pub in Glasgow," brags the Scotsman, "fer every four pints of stout I order, they give me one fer free!"

"In me pub in London," says the Englishman,"I pay fer two pint's o' Guiness and they give me a third one free!"

"That's nuthin'" says the Irishman, "In me pub back in Dublin, you walk up to the bar, they give you the first pint fer free, the second pint fer free, the third pint fer free -- and then they take you upstairs and you have sex for FREE!"

"Is that true?" asks the Scotsman. "Has that really happened to you?"

"Well, no," says the Irishman, "but it happens to me sister all the time!"

Thank you for restoring my faith in this board.
Another contribution


There are four kinds of sex :
HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.
BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.
HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "SCREW YOU"
COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer screw you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.

Why are single women skinny and married women fat?

A single woman will look in the refrigerator, not see anything she wants, and go to the bedroom. A married woman will look in the bedroom, not see anything she wants, and go to the refrigerator.

A piece of string walks into a bar.
The bartender says "hey you! We don't serve your kind in here. Get out!"
The piece of string was thirsty and wanted a beer real bad. So... He ties up his end so it looks like a head, and he unravels the part sticking up so it looks like hair. Back into the bar he walks.
The bartender says "Hey, aren't you that piece of string that was just in here?
The string answers "I'm afraid not".

A "frayed knot" get it? Awww...its not funny if I have to explain it.

Better with pictures.