As I’ve mentioned previously, Bonnie and I married in May of last year. Bonnie has no interest or ability in gambling, but she accepts that this is what I do.
Bonnie’s family members were understandably uneasy about her marriage to a professional gambler. Bonnie has some assets and her heirs didn’t want that money swept away if I ran into a big losing streak. So we established an arrangement for separate finances: She keeps what she has; I keep what I have; and we both contribute toward our monthly expenses. It satisfies our needs and her heirs are much happier this way.
The South Point is one casino where it is permitted to play on a spouse’s slot club card. So naturally I play on both my card and Bonnie’s card, although I only gamble with my money regardless of which card I use. The South Point is a good place to play.
When they have drawings, we have a standing arrangement that Bonnie receives one-fourth of whatever she wins and I keep three-fourths. If 1099s or W2Gs are generated in her name, I cover any tax liabilities that she incurs.
She is getting a type of “freeroll.” In live poker, one example of a freeroll is when a player has half the pot locked up but could possibly get lucky and win the whole thing. In live Texas Hold’Em, this could be when two players are dealt a suited AK. The flop comes out QJT, with two of those cards suited with the AK from the first player. Both players have the nut straight, but the first player has chances to also get a flush (or a royal flush!) which beats a straight. Assuming she somehow knows what her opponent has, that player can raise with impunity. At worst, she gets her money back.
Although Bonnie’s freeroll was a bit different, it was still a good deal for her. She had no chance to lose, but she still had an opportunity to win some tax-free money. Not bad!
In September of this year, the South Point had weekly drawings. Twenty-five people would spin a twenty-position wheel where landing on ten of the positions won $1,000, eight of the positions gave you $5,000, and the last two positions were for $10,000 and $25,000. This comes out to an average of $4,250 per person for twenty-five people for five weeks! Not a bad promotion. The expectation was that $531,250 would be given away, assuming average luck, so it was promoted as a $500,000 promotion.
The first week of the promotion, we were out of town for most of the week and so didn’t have the maximum number of tickets. Despite that, we still showed up for the drawing but didn’t get called.
The second week, we had the maximum of 1,600 tickets earned per day. I was called. I just missed the $25,000 space and ended up with $1,000. Disappointing, but I’m not complaining. Bonnie didn’t collect anything.
The third week, neither one of us was called. So obviously Bonnie didn’t get anything there either.
When the fourth week arrived, Bonnie wasn’t really happy about going. She was convinced that she’d never win because she hadn’t been called in the first three weeks. I, of course, definitely wanted her to be there. On the spur of the moment, I offered her another deal: Instead of receiving one-fourth of her winnings as we had originally agreed, she could have a guaranteed $100 whether or not her name was called but I’d keep all the money if she was chosen and, of course, still cover any 1099 liabilities.
This was different! Bonnie was much more inclined to attend the promotion for a guaranteed $100! I personally thought her equity in the drawing was worth more than $400 (one-fourth of which she would claim) but it was a type of “insurance” against her ending up with nothing again. However, as I told her, there was an insurance premium of sorts if she accepted the guaranteed $100. I explained to her that mathematically she should “gamble it up” and stay with our original agreement, but if she wanted the guaranteed $100, it was there for her.
I also offered her a third option: One-eighth of what she won plus one-eighth of what I won. I told her that one-eighth of both our winnings had the same EV as one-fourth of her winnings only, but with a lower variance. She looked at me blankly. She’d heard me use these terms before but had no idea what they meant.
Having options is a good thing — usually. But if you don’t understand them, they can be very confusing. Plus, Bonnie suffers from “second-guesser’s disease” which means that AFTER an event is over she gets upset if she didn’t make what ended up being the correct decision BEFORE the event began. Simply put, I had given her too many options and she didn’t know what to do.
So she got advice. She has met many of my friends whom I’ve described as competent gamblers. This made them “experts” compared to her. One expert suggested she take the $100. Another suggested she take the one-eighth of the sum of our winnings. Bonnie mentally flipped a coin and chose the one-eighth. Neither of us was called that night and she was kicking herself for “throwing away $100.” I told her that she made the right bet and it just didn’t happen to work out this time, but that didn’t do much to salve her pain.
She demanded another option for week five — namely a guaranteed $50 plus one-sixteenth of the sum of the winnings. She wouldn’t get completely skunked and if one of us did really well, she’d share in a part of it. This was, in effect, half of one of the options on the table and half of another. I agreed.
I then asked her to assume one of us won $1,000 in the drawing. I asked her how much one-sixteenth of that would be. After several false steps and hints along the way, she finally realized that this came out to $62.50 — plus the $50 she’d get no matter what. We also worked this out for the $5,000, $10,000, and $25,000 prizes. She was okay with these numbers. I didn’t want the calculation to be a surprise if we actually won. Bonnie’s receipt of any money from this drawing was supposed to be a fun and exciting thing for her. If the actual amount wasn’t what she was expecting, it could turn a fun and exciting thing into a “Bob’s in the dog house” thing. I wanted to avoid that.
As it turned out, I was the second person called at the fifth and final drawing. So far so good. Now I needed to spin the wheel and have it land on a big number. Unfortunately my result was the same as before. I just missed $25,000 and ended up with $1,000. Again, disappointing, but I was fortunate to be called twice!
After twenty-five spins that night, the casino had “only” given away $476,000 for the month. They had announced $500,000 and as a matter of integrity they wanted to give away at least that much. This sort of classy gesture isn’t found at most casinos. So they called five more names — again not including Bonnie. They were now up to $496,000, so they called three more names. The first guy hit $1,000, the second hit $5,000, and the third didn’t show up within the allotted four minutes. So even though they were now above $500,000 for the month, they called one last name because they had already announced “three more names” and only two had spun. That final lady was there and it was over. So even though Bonnie and I had the same number of entries, I was called twice during the promotion and Bonnie was never called.
I paid Bonnie her $112.50 with great fanfare. I reminded her that she did better than a guaranteed $100 and better than a simple one-fourth on her score. I “forgot” to mention that had she selected one-eighth of the sum of our two scores she would have received $125. Why bring up anything that would cast a shadow on the occasion? She was happy.
Happy wife. Happy life.