What Can I Say?

Emails and letters from video poker players are part of my life, and often I get the same sort of question or request over and over again. Every month or so I get some version of the following:

Dear Bob:

I’m a huge fan of yours. I’m leaving for Vegas in nine days and counting. I want to know where the pros play so I don’t waste my time on inferior games. If you don’t tell me, it’s because you are a selfish jerk and I’ll never buy any more of your products.

(signed) Appreciative Fan

It’s gratifying to know that I have fans, even though I’m a selfish jerk. But there are many reasons I can’t give Mr. A. Fan what he asks. Let’s look at some of them.

• Games: There are dozens of different video poker varieties returning over 99.5%. With the right slot club and promotion, any of these may be highly lucrative. No one (certainly not me) knows all of these. If I tell you that Super Double Bonus or Joker Two Pair or Double Bonus Deuces Wild or Double Bonus Plus is currently the best game, do you know these games? If not, are you willing to spend dozens of hours becoming proficient at the game before arriving in Vegas? If not, knowing that the game is a good play isn’t useful information to you.
• Skill Level: How good are you? Even the best players have a very small edge. And that’s on only a small number of games played under the best conditions. If you haven’t practiced beforehand on a game, you have no hope of playing with an advantage. Playing the same games the pros play is only a good deal for you if you have the same skills that the pros have.
• Denomination: If you play for nickels, you don’t want to hear about dollar opportunities. (There are no professional nickel players, by the way, unless you count 5¢ Hundred Play games.) If you like to play for $5, the best quarter game is irrelevant.
• Slot Club Tier: Some casinos have slot clubs that pay more for high-end players. Let’s say a casino rebated 0.25% in cash back for the lower 95% of its players in terms of coin-in, but 0.50% for its top players. Whether it’s best playing there or at another casino where the slot club returns 0.33% depends on your tier level. Sometimes it’s worth playing a slightly lesser game in order to get up to the next higher tier level.
• Reservations: Where are you staying and will you have a car? Vegas is spread out and Suncoast, for example, is more than 25 miles from Sunset Station.  Anyone traveling back and forth on the freeway between these two casinos has planned his vacation poorly. That’s very different from staying at the Venetian and walking across the street to play at the Mirage.
• Comps: Do you need to play a certain amount at the casino you’ll be staying at in order to get free or reduced-price meals, rooms, shows, etc.? If you need to play $20,000 daily in coin-in to get the amenities you desire, that requires less than one hour if you’re a $10 player, all day if you’re a $1 player, and an impossible burden if you play for quarters.
• Progressives: At any given time, at least half of the good plays in town are progressives. I don’t play them, generally speaking, but many pros do. There is no source of good information for the value of progressives at any point in time (unless you’re part of a group that shares such information with each other), and no way to know whether a seat will be available when you get there. Even if I knew the $5 7/5 Bonus Poker game at the Golden Nugget was high enough to be interesting an hour ago, I don’t know if anyone has hit it in the past hour.  And I certainly can’t predict what the progressive level will be tomorrow — let alone nine days from now.
• Promotions: Double slot club points can turn an unacceptable game into a great one. A drawing for a new car is worth something if you’re going to be there during the drawing, but otherwise useless. Receiving a logo jacket for a royal flush isn’t worth so much if you already have a closet full of 30 unworn casino logo jackets. New promotions arise all the time. I frequently don’t know what promotions will be in effect in a few week’s time, and without that knowledge, I don’t know where the best place to play will be.
• Other agenda: Are you coming to Vegas strictly for the gambling or are you (or any of your travel companions) planning on fine dining, shows, nice hotels, child care, proximity to certain other locations in Las Vegas, etc.? Getting a dining comp at a restaurant you wouldn’t want to eat at doesn’t do you any good. Playing a slightly lesser game might be worthwhile if it comes with nicer meals, shows, and hotel rooms.
• For the games I consider best, there are only a few machines. It’s in my interest to keep quiet about what I know or I won’t get a seat. I don’t know about the “jerk” part, but being selfish with information can be very profitable.
• I simply don’t know the best games everywhere. I’m restricted at some casinos, and I’m not scouting for dollar and lower games anywhere. Players who know of great games “somewhere” often don’t keep me in the loop — for the same reason I’m not telling them what I know.
• There are hundreds of 15-machine bars across the Las Vegas valley. Most have poor games unworthy of serious attention, but sometimes you can find good opportunities there. I scout the ones within eight miles of my home — which is a small percentage of all the bars. I doubt if you’re thinking of flying into Vegas to play at a small bar.
• I do respond to financial incentives. Pay me $10,000 and I’ll tell you all of my plays — in Vegas and out. Up that to $20,000 and I’ll tell you WHY each game is attractive to me. No guarantee that any of the games will be suitable for you to play.

These are a few of the things to consider in choosing what game to play and at which casino. I can’t answer the “where to play” question for you without all of this information.

I suggest that you’d be better off if you considered these questions before you made your own decision about where to play.