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Dealing with Money

I recently received an email from a slot director with whom I’m friendly. It read: 

I’ve had a number of customers ask me what banks in Las Vegas are gambler friendly, meaning they understand how “professional gambler” is an actual profession and as such, banks would be used to multiple deposits, withdrawals etc. in varying amounts and timing.

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Winning a Drawing

I get inspiration for columns from all sorts of places. This was a question sent in to [email protected] for Richard and me to answer on the podcast. I will answer it there the next time we have a “Bob and Richard answer their mail” show (which is usually when we haven’t been able to schedule a guest for that week), but I’ll answer it here first.

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I’ve Heard This One Before

In my classes, I often get out-of-town students. Whether I am teaching Quick Quads, Ultimate X, Deuces Wild, or whatever, there are often students who decided long ago that they are going to take at least one Bob Dancer class — and this is the week they’re in Vegas.

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When You’re No Longer Welcome

Let’s assume that your local casino has taken away your player’s card, meaning you can no longer receive most of the benefits from playing there. For the sake of today’s discussion, you are still allowed to play there without a card if you like. Further, assume that you insist on playing with an edge or not at all.

What do you do now?

First, sometimes you can talk your way back into being able to play with the card. Not often. But sometimes. If winning the drawings too many times was the reason for your ouster from the club, for example, perhaps agreeing to not enter certain categories of drawings will be enough. Perhaps agreeing to not play certain machines will work, or not playing on certain point multiplier days. Whatever. Being in the club is better than not being in the club if this option is possible. 

If this is not possible, you need to look closely at whether there are games you ignored before that could be playable at least some of the time. The most likely candidates for this would be progressives. Sometimes a 9/5 Double Double Bonus machine (97.87% at reset) with one or more progressives can be a profitable game to play when the progressives are high enough. Not every day. Certainly not every time you check. But sometimes.

The best book on how to evaluate progressives is Frank Kneeland’s The Secret World of Video Poker Progressives. Some of the information presented in the book is dated, but I don’t know of any better source. If you can find and hook up with other pros playing progressives, perhaps they can show you the ropes. 

In general, you need a bigger bankroll to play progressives than you do playing games with a 4,000-coin royal flush simply because a higher percentage of your return is in the relatively-rare royal flush. You lose much faster between royals than you do at games that start out with a higher return. In addition to the physical bankroll, you need a psychological bankroll to survive at this. Losing streaks will be longer. If you were barely scraping by financially before you got restricted, progressives are likely not a good option for you. 

On the other hand, sometimes progressives get big enough that you’ll have a 2% or larger advantage while playing them. You virtually never get advantages this high playing machines without progressives.

Advantage slots are another possibility. Sometimes it has to do with progressive meters. Sometimes it is a “must hit by” progressive and the meter is very close to the maximum. Sometimes it’s looking for a certain number of a particular kind of symbol, and when you find that condition, the game is beatable. How to recognize the games that are beatable is found on several sites on the Internet. Which of these sites provide the best information is something I can’t share with you simply because this is not an avenue I have pursued. 

There are players being kicked out of casinos for playing advantage slots these days. Since my face is relatively well known as a sharp machine player, I will get extra scrutiny if I play slots. And I expect my welcome will be short-lived. So, I haven’t even gone through the effort of learning which machines to play.

Particularly in Las Vegas, there are a LOT of players seeking out and playing advantage slots — which seriously reduces the likelihood of you coming across a playable game at any particular time. Success requires scouting — and sometimes being in the right place at the right time when someone leaves a machine that is in an advantageous state, but it can be done. In other locales, slot hustlers are less common, and you can do well at this.

Another option is to simply stop visiting this casino and patronize others. If you live in a place where there are a lot of casinos, this is no problem (assuming you haven’t been run off by too many of the other ones as well.) If you live in a place where there aren’t many casinos, this is tougher.

Some high limit players need to resort to playing dollar machines in order to keep playing. They have the bankroll to play higher, but they might not have the welcome or full benefits at the places that have the bigger machines. At a smaller level, some dollar players may need to resort to playing for quarters at other casinos to stay in the game.

Going the other way (meaning formerly playing quarters but being forced to play dollars at another casino in order to have an edge) doesn’t happen as frequently. Comparatively speaking, few quarter players are restricted at casinos. (It absolutely does sometimes happen, however.) If you are forced to move up in stakes, make sure you have the bankroll to do so. You can check bankroll requirements using the Video Poker for Winners software, or Dunbar’s Risk Analyzer for Video Poker. The products yield similar results using very different methods of analysis.

Traveling to play is another option. Players in Las Vegas can travel to several locations in California, Northern Nevada, and elsewhere if they are out of places to play at home. I’m not going to tell you to go to the XYZ casino in such-and-such a city simply because publishing the play will likely kill it. These plays are out there, but you’re going to have to scout and network to find them. Players who have developed networks with other winning players will find out about these possibilities much faster than those who are starting from scratch. Traveling takes time and is not cheap. Some players do not have the time, interest, or resources to pursue this avenue.

A final option is to give up video poker and take up bowling — or any other activity you’re interested in. Some people will not be able to find beatable games within their bankroll. When this happens, some tough decisions need to be made. Using the suggestions in this article, however, will sometimes postpone for another day having to make that decision.  

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Storyworthy – A Worthy Book

Most of my articles relate somehow to gambling. This one doesn’t. Today is a rave review of a book I’ve recently read that has affected me deeply. I haven’t given up on writing about gambling. Just not today.

I’m a fan of storytelling in the spirit of those told at The Moth, a storytelling group that originated in New York and now may be found in venues across the country. If you go to www.themoth.org, you’ll find an audio library that contains more than 1,000 of their best stories. 

These true stories are told by old and young, male and female, native American (with all sorts of regional accents), non-native (from all over the world), with a huge variety of subjects. Some will make you laugh. Some will make you cry. Some just may get you to look at the world a little differently.

In the spirit of The Moth, Richard Munchkin, my GWAE co-host, and I have been hosting the Las Vegas StorySlam, which is a monthly get-together for the purpose of telling true stories. Our venue is changing because where we used to meet went out of business. We’re in negotiation with another theater in Las Vegas and hope to resume soon. I’ll write about it here when that happens.

Richard and I, along with many others, tell stories every month. Many of my stories relate to gambling, of course, because that’s been a large part of my life. But I’ve also told stories about a date gone wrong, a weight loss bet, a revenge story, and a college football game I attended. As a listener of stories, some of my favorites have been told by Richard – who has shared many of them on our podcast.

With this in mind, somebody recently suggested I pick up the book Storyworthy, by Matthew Dicks. At the time the book was published in 2018, Dicks had won Moth competitions some 36 times. He still competes and so that number has grown.

Clearly this is a guy who knows something about storytelling. In addition, along with his wife, he teaches storytelling workshops in Connecticut. Teaching others is a cauldron that tends to clarify your message. I looked forward to reading what Dicks had to say.

And I was blown away.

I already knew quite a bit about storytelling. I was already experienced and had received very positive feedback from others. When I practice my stories at my local Toastmasters Club, I win the “Best Speaker” ribbon more often than not. I had learned from Las Vegas’ best storytelling workshop taught by Al Jensen and George Gilbert (www.nextstagecommunications.com). I thought I was pretty knowledgeable. 

I was – but I also had a lot to learn. And I had stumbled upon a good teacher.

The most valuable part of the book to me was the homework! Really! Dicks outlines an exercise he calls Homework for Life, where every day you spend five minutes and enter into an Excel spreadsheet the most interesting thing that happened to you that day. Just a line or two. But do it every day. (I confess. In the two months I’ve been doing this, I’ve skipped two days accidentally. Sometimes I’ll make more than one entry.)

What this gives you is a goldmine of possible stories! If you’re doing it honestly, your best true stories are related to what you’ve experienced in your life. This exercise records a line or two about these experiences as you go. Over time, you’ll see a snippet of an idea that you recorded in March can be combined with something that happened in July, and you’ll find a “habit” in your life that you didn’t know you had.

As I’ve modified this exercise for myself, I’ve been adding stories to the list from long ago. There were a lot of stories in my Million Dollar Video Poker. Many of those can be honed for telling in front of a live audience. The most recent story I’ve been working on happened 25 years ago with my brother. I had totally forgotten about this incident until I started writing down ideas on a regular basis. Something I did in early August of this year reminded me of what I did long ago.

Another exercise is “First Last Best Worst,” which is a brain-storming activity where you start with any subject (say drinking lemonade — or riding a bike — or cramming for a test at school — blind dates — and a whole bunch of others) and you write down whatever comes to mind as the best incidence of this, the last, the best, and the worst. 

Sometimes you’ll draw a complete blank about a subject. Sometimes you’ll have two or more “best” memories about a subject. All okay. Write down what you have. On that page will be several topics for a story. Do this regularly with different starting points. You’ll have a library of possible story subjects pretty soon.

I’m not going to go through it here, but in addition to the “How do you figure out what to tell a story about?” exercises, there are a ton of how-to points for the story itself. 

I know most of you won’t be into competitive storytelling. But most of us tell stories to our friends. Some have been told their stories are boring. Or pointless. Or rambling. If so, this book will enable you to improve your storytelling. And improve your life.

If you want a flavor of how this guy tells a story, go to www.youtube.com  and search for “Storytelling Matthew Dicks”. In that section, listen to his “This is going to suck” story. And in the book, he dissects how he crafted that story. The story is true, but there are many ways to tell it. Why and where he added humor. Why he intentionally sped up at times and sometimes went slow. Why he “hid in plain sight” a key element to the eventual punch line. Things like that. Once you understand these things, your stories will be better.

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Which is Better — W2G or Not?

The Las Vegas Advisor has a Question of the Day. These are questions sent in by readers where a bite-sized answer is sufficient. Sometimes when it’s about video poker, the LVA passes it on to me. They recently sent me a question which is printed below. While the answer isn’t difficult, there are a lot of things to discuss — depending on how advanced the reader is. Since it was more blog-length rather than QOD-length, I decided to answer the question here.

It begins with the question:
I go to my local riverboat casino and play bonus poker video poker.  I do not play professional so I would have to pay any W2G that I would get. My question is if I include a 30% tax on the royal flush payout at the dollar machine ($4,000 royal), am I better off playing a 99.17% pay dollar machine or a 96.87% quarter machine where the royals will not be taxed. I would think you need to take the percent of the 99.17% that is the royal payout and multiply that by .7 and add it back in to see if it is better than the 96.87%. Is that correct and what is the percent of the 99.17% that is the royal payout?

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Bonus Poker payouts, the 99.17% version pays 40 for the full house and the 96.87% version pays 30 for the full house. The games are otherwise identical and the correct strategies for both games are essentially identical.

Most video poker software products will tell you that you’ll get a royal flush on Bonus Poker every 40,233 hands. To make this simpler to work with, I’m going to assume this number is exactly 40,000. It will not affect the conclusion.

Playing for dollars, every 40,000 hands (which means $200,000 coin-in) you have to pay $1,200 in taxes (which is 30% of $4,000) which I can treat differently because I file as a professional. If you divide $1,200 by $200,000, you come up with 0.6%. This makes the post-tax 8/5 Bonus Poker worth 98.57%, which is quite a bit higher than 96.87%.

So, obviously, since 98.57% is better than 96.87%, that proves playing for dollars and paying the taxes is the better play. Except there are more things to consider.

First of all, are you playing the same number of hands or the same amount in dollars? It takes the same amount of time to play $50,000 at quarters as it does to play $200,000 at dollars. Your expected loss at dollars is 0.0143 * $200,000 (which equals $2,860) while playing $50,000 at quarters will cost you 0.0313 * $50,000 (which equals $1,565).

Looked at this way, playing quarters is the “better” (meaning “less bad”) play.
(Is it impossibly rude to suggest that staying out of that casino is better than either of these plays?)

We haven’t discussed the slot club. Do you get money in the mail? Do you earn free play from your points? It’s possible that dollars could still be the cheaper play. Without discussing the slot club benefits, it’s impossible to make a final determination.

Another possibility is to play quarter single coins! Playing one quarter at a time is only worth 95.6329%, but in same time it takes you to play $200,000 at dollars or $50,000 at max-coin quarters, you’re only risking $10,000 at single-line quarters. That will make your expected loss $437, which is considerably “less bad” than either of the previous two expected losses.

Playing single coin, however, on those rare occasions you hit the royal flush, you’ll collect a lousy $62.50 instead of the $1,000 you’d get from a max-coin quarter royal, or $250 instead of the $2,800 you’d get from the after-tax max-coin dollar royal. If somebody sees what you did, they’ll tell you what an idiot you are for not betting max-coin and collecting the full royal. Never mind that your move makes financial sense. For some people, they’ll feel so bad at missing out on the max-coin royal that they are in misery, even though they just hit a royal flush.

I tell you, playing single coin isn’t for the weak at heart!

So, looking at these options, how would I boil it down to one choice? That is, what would I do were I to face these exact circumstances?

My answer is simple. I wouldn’t play at all. If the slot club doesn’t pay enough to make up for the shortfalls we’ve listed here, I’m not even frequenting this casino. Going into a casino knowing I can’t be a long-term winner is against my religion.

Author’s note: The basic premise of this QOD and the answer is seriously flawed, but I chose to answer it as given anyway. All gambling revenue is legally taxable — whether you get a W2G or not. The idea that you don’t owe taxes unless individual jackpots are $1,200 or higher is completely incorrect. If any of this is foreign to you, listen to the August 29 Gambling with an Edge podcast where Richard Munchkin and I interview tax expert Russell Fox.