Category: Advice for Players

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So What?

The Las Vegas Advisor publishes a “Question of the Day” every day. People send in questions and the LVA gets someone knowledgeable to answer each question. Often video poker questions are shuttled my way.

In a recent QOD, someone noted that they were quarter NSU Deuces players at Green Valley Ranch Casino, which is run by Station Casinos. The players saw on the screen “advantage player tracking system.”  These players usually only played on multiplier days.

If they are getting a half-percent in players’ club rewards, this is a game that yields the player less than $3 per hour if they play perfectly. Basically, nobody plays NSU Deuces perfectly. I certainly can’t and estimate that fewer than one-in-a-thousand players can. My comment at the end of the QOD was, “It’s a real shame that casinos are doing this to quarter players. You might have a $3/hour advantage over them on the big multiplier days if you play competently. You’d think a casino could fade that.”

I received an email from someone who works in casino management and wrote, “Casinos no longer look at a $3/hour-winner player as just that – as their analysis adds $6 an hour (from all players) for free drinks and general maintenance items (bathroom, garage if parking is free) etc.”

This is probably true, although the $6 figure may vary from place to place. Casinos and other businesses have “overhead” expenses, and if that is going to be allocated on a per-player-per-hour basis, it’s going to be some such number.

Personally, I’m surprised that free drinks are included in this calculation. I believe that giving away free drinks is a money-making proposition for casinos. The more people drink, on average, the more they lose. Yes, the drinks cost the casino money, but the increased revenue from players more than offsets this cost.

Going with the $6 figure for now, it doesn’t change my feelings on this. If the player costs the casino $9 per hour, is that really a significant threat to the casino’s bottom line? Few players play completely accurately. Players bring friends along and their friends play even worse. Players have leaks, where even if they play video poker reasonably competently, they also bet on their favorite football team, and in that game, they are definitely a square. Even solid players go on tilt periodically and do some crazy stuff that usually costs them a lot of money.

I’ve found $200/hour opportunities in casinos. Sometimes I get restricted after the casino figures out that they are giving away the farm. I understand that. (I don’t like it, but I understand it.)

But there needs to be a threshold where casinos tolerate a certain level of “winner.” I personally think that threshold should be higher than $10 per hour.

Possibly I would feel differently were I a casino manager. But worrying about $10 per hour players often leads to kicking out losing players who have just gotten lucky recently.

If any winners at all bothers a casino, they can certainly remove games that give players a chance. But if those games are there, players should be allowed to play them.

Enough of my rant. I’ll go back to a regular blog next week.

 

Author’s Note:  After this article was prepared, I received information that the IGT brand for player tracking systems is called “Advantage.” Thus, “Advantage Player Track System Activated” simply means that the casino is using the IGT software. It does not mean necessarily that the system believes the particular players are playing with an advantage.

Does this mean my rant was misplaced? Perhaps. Perhaps not. I still believe that casinos should allow players with small advantages to play, and that Station Casinos are among the worst culprits at not allowing this to happen. I will never be allowed to see the actual data to prove this one way or another, but looking at the data from the outside, this is the way it appears to this observer.

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The Way You Walk

Assume the following:  You are a very strong player. In a particular, large casino, they only have two machines of the type you consider best. There are other players who play these same machines.

When you arrive on the property, how fast and purposefully do you walk to get to one of the good machines? Do you go straight towards the good machine or take some detours?

FAST:   There are good reasons to walk fast. After all, if one of your competitors for the machine is coming through another door to reach the machines, the early bird gets the worm. If the machines are full, you want to be the first one there to see if you can maybe make a deal to have a machine when one of them is finished.

NOT FAST:  There are good reasons to meander through the casino, taking your time and going in a roundabout way to your machines of choice. Most people do not rush through casinos (other than maybe to get to a bathroom). Rushing catches the eyes of observant employees and others. A slot director could well figure that if players are rushing to get to particular machines, perhaps those machines or the promotions should be looked at more closely.

When Math Boy visited GWAE not so long ago, he commented in passing that he can often tell whether a player is an AP or not simply by watching him move through a casino. We’ve had a number of guests on the show talking about tells at the poker table. This is a tell of a different sort, but just as easy for the knowledgeable person to read.

There is no such thing as knowing that nobody is watching when you’re in a casino. To be sure, much of the time you’re invisible. But not all the time. At most places, the cameras are always on, but often the output from a particular camera is ignored.

I make the assumption that everything I do in a casino can be seen. If I find abandoned credits on a machine, I turn on the change light and wait for an attendant to come and claim it. Although I’m in a differently category than many of my readers, I assume some people in every casino are looking for a good excuse to restrict me. So, I go out of my way not to give it to them.

At many casinos today, camera output is saved and they can go back several days later (or longer) and look at the tape should they so desire. Usually they don’t. But . . .

At the places with surveillance that’s the biggest threat to competent players, surveillance operators are trained to look for things that are “off.” Often such things are saved in the archives to see if it happens again — or has happened before.

Just walking purposefully is not a crime. In and of itself, it’s not particularly suspicious. But it’s unusual in a casino. If you show your act enough times, eventually counter measures will be taken against you.

Recreational players don’t particularly need to be concerned about this. You can do what you want. You will be giving off enough signs that you’re not a threat to a casino to be bullet-proof. Stronger players at least need to think about this. Are you giving the casino “extra” information about your play that they could use to restrict you?

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An Early Christmas Present

In my email inbox, I regularly receive pictures of royal flushes and other video poker jackpots. Frequently, I get thanks in the email saying that if my writing and classes hadn’t taught the emailer how to play, they’d never have a chance. And then the picture of the royal is from an 8/5 Double Double Bonus game. I don’t recall ever saying anything about such a game other than to not even think about playing it if you want a chance at winning.

Recently, I received an email with a picture of a royal on a quarter 8/5 Jacks or Better game. While this game returns almost a half percent more than 8/5 Double Double Bonus, it’s still in the “no play zone” from my point of view. The subject line of the email said: “You’re Going To Want to Read This.” I would have read the email anyway, and the subject line made me think this was going to be junk mail, but it turns out it was from a reader of mine.

This player was playing quarter 8/5 Bonus Poker at a casino in a southern state. This 99.17% game is the highest paying game at that casino and, along with the slot club and other benefits, he felt it “wasn’t too bad” for a recreational player. Okay. I certainly don’t insist that others use my “if it doesn’t return more than 100% it should never be played” philosophy. It sounds like this guy, “Mark,” made a considered, intelligent, choice.

While Mark was playing, a cleaning lady named Sophia came running up to him. Sophia was regularly stationed in the area that included the machines he played, and he recognized her. About half of his visits he slipped her $2. Cleaning machines and picking up after sloppy players wasn’t a fun job or one that paid well. Plus, Sophia had come from somewhere in Central America and her grasp of English was rudimentary at best.

When Sophia reached Mark, she frantically signaled him to follow her. He asked her what was going on and she just kept saying, “Please come. Hurry! Hurry!”

Thinking there might be some type of emergency, Mark cashed out and followed Sophia upstairs. She took him to a bank of quarter 8/5 Jacks or Better progressives. Mark occasionally played these machines if the progressive was more than $2,000 which rarely happened because the meter was quite slow. Still, he didn’t expect Sophia to be cognizant of video poker pay schedules, although it didn’t surprise him greatly that she knew when it was relatively high.

When he looked at the meter, he saw it was at $9,400! Later he figured out that this was a 119% game, but all he knew now was that the game was much better than any other gambling opportunity he’d ever seen. He surmised that the casino shut down a progressive and they had to put the accumulated progressive somewhere — and this is where they dumped it! There was a bank of four machines and so far, all of them were vacant. Clearly that wouldn’t last long.

He thanked Sophia profusely, sat down, and started banging away. It didn’t have to happen this way, but he hit the royal before any other players even noticed how high it was. After the employees came and took his ID, he hunted Sophia down and gave her a $300 tip. Tears came to her eyes. Nobody had ever given her that much money before.

Karma doesn’t always work this way. It could easily have happened that he got a seat and somebody else ended up hitting the royal. But just getting a seat on a 119% game is pretty sweet. And if Sophia hadn’t come and found him, he would have never known.

If you treat people well, often they’ll be only too happy to help you back. That jackpot more than reimbursed Mark for all the tips he’d ever given to casino employees. And if he didn’t hit it? Well, that’s okay. If Mark can afford to gamble recreationally, his life is likely better off financially than Sophia’s. And helping others, whether it’s the holidays or not, is one of the things that makes the world go ‘round.

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My Experience with Gaming — Part II of II

In last week’s blog, I laid out the nature of my beef with the Rainbow Casino. I was basically fighting over whether I could have someone play off $2,400 in free play — or get a check for $1,200. Whether my case had any merits or not, this was too small to involve a lawyer.

I called up the Gaming Control Board and told them I had a complaint. An agent listened and said that if I wished to go forward with the matter I could come down to the office and fill out the paperwork. I told him I’d be down the next day.

The Nevada GCB here in Las Vegas is located off of Las Vegas Boulevard at Washington, which is in the downtown area, immediately north of Cashman Field. It’s in a building housing a number of other governmental agencies.

The night before I went to the office, I spent considerable time writing out exactly what I wanted and why I felt I was entitled to it. I had been led to believe that whatever I wrote down the next day was basically all I got to say before the decision was rendered. So, I wanted to give it my best shot. I suspect they would have written the report for me if I was not capable of doing so, but I believe I can better present my own argument for myself — given it’s too small to justify hiring an attorney.

I saw the same agent I had spoken to on the phone the day before and he brought me a form to fill out. I told him I thought I would need five or six sheets of paper and he provided them.

After I finished writing up my report, the agent read it. He surprisingly advised me to take the $1,200 and not ask to gamble with the $2,400. He told me it was possible I would end up with less than $1,200 and then I’d feel so bad. I didn’t tell him the game was available for quarters and if you play $2,400 coin-in for quarters on NSU, it’s basically impossible to end up with less than $2,000 — let alone $1,200.

I didn’t think it was in my interest to make it obvious that I was an experienced player. I thanked him for his suggestion and told him I’d prefer to take my chances.

The agent asked if I were an advantage player and then added that it really didn’t matter if I was or wasn’t. I didn’t know if I was on the record or not, so I said I wasn’t a beginner and let the matter drop.

I was then told the GCB would investigate the complaint and issue a ruling within 45 days. If both parties accepted the ruling, that would be it. If either side wished to appeal the ruling, the appeal would be held in a hearing room that was within the same complex of offices.

The ruling came back in about 30 days, basically denying all parts of my claim. The casino was ordered to pay me $1,200 by check within two weeks. While I’m writing this before the two-week period has expired and I haven’t received the check yet, I’m not expecting that to be an issue.

The decision listed several findings it had made, including mentioning that I was no longer allowed on the property. Many of those findings were clearly made after talking to casino employees. Several were different than what I remembered happening. I also recognized that I didn’t record the conversations, and it would be a form of “he said-she said” to figure out what actually happened.

I considered appealing — if only to make this into a three-part blog rather than just a two-parter. After all, whatever happens at the GCB is generally interesting to my readers and the listeners to my podcast.

The bottom line in my decision to not appeal was that I didn’t think I had a case. If you focus on the right part of the slot club rules, it’s clear that I only get 50% if I redeem the points in cash and the casino was within its rights to refuse to let me play the points off. Those rules were “hidden in plain sight,” but they were there, nonetheless.

While I could force the system to chug along and rule absolutely that I wasn’t going to get my way, I believed that eventual ruling was essentially a certainty. The idea of going through the appeal just to have more to talk about in this blog or on the podcast strikes me as more selfish than I like to view myself. I basically am doing nothing, which means I accept the ruling.

Still, I find it useful to have gone through this process. Someday I may well need to go through it again and there are advantages to having gone through it previously.

After I wrote this, I did get the check and deposited it. An agent from the GCB, Kevin Smith, called and asked me to call him back on a personal matter. I did, and he just wanted to verify that I had received the check.

I asked him why he had referred to this as a personal matter. After all, this sounds like ordinary GCB work. He told me that he couldn’t know who would listen to that message, and didn’t wish to be broadcasting that I had just received a check that would be considered large by many people. So he called it a personal matter.

Makes sense. I’m the only one who listens to that voicemail — but he couldn’t know that. I appreciate his extra care.

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My Experience with Gaming — Part I of II

The Nevada Gaming Control Board is charged with, among other things, arbitrating disputes between patrons and casinos. I have known about them for years but have never had any direct dealings with them until recently. This blog is about my recent incident.

In many ways, it’s surprising that I’ve had no previous disputes. I know of video poker pros who have dealt with them dozens of times because they believe that the casinos are always trying to cheat them. Others I know regularly take an “it’s the principle of the thing” approach and seek redress for the smallest slights.

To me, there’s a cost associated with going to the GCB. Winning a decision can lead the casino to decide you’re a trouble maker and no longer welcome your action. And any employee involved in that decision may soon work for another casino causing your “unwelcome” to spread without further incident. So, to me, the GCB is going to be a last resort when I’m essentially “out the door” anyway and am concerned with how much I get to take out the door with me.

If it’s a big enough dispute, I’m probably going to talk with attorney Bob Nersesian for advice on how to proceed — or possibly even representing me. He’s knowledgeable enough and good enough that even after paying his fee I’ll be money ahead by letting him take care of it. While there are other attorneys I could call, he’s been on my podcast about two dozen times and we have a personal relationship.

But the case that led me to contact the GCB fell into the sweet spot in that it was large enough to fight over, I was not going to be able to play in the casino again whether I went to GCB or not, and it was too small to call in Nersesian. So, I did it myself.

Here’s what happened:

Someone told me the Rainbow casino in downtown Henderson had $5 NSU and some players were getting several hundred dollars a week in mailers. Since the game starts out at 99.73%, this was worth checking out. With any kind of a slot club at all, this was likely to be a positive play.

I never found the $5 machines. But I did find dollar five play machines where you could bet up to 20 coins per line. That is, I could bet $100 per play on a game where I probably had the edge.

The slot club remains a mystery to me. They have tier levels. You can redeem points for free play or cash, at different rates depending on your tier level. Therefore, I decided that I’d let my points stay unredeemed for a while because I would rather redeem them at the top rate instead of for only half that much. (It turned out I misunderstood the slot club — more about that later.) For August and September (the two months I played) there were 10x comp dollars on Sundays and Fridays.

The comp rate appeared to be a rather miniscule 0.033%, but 10x comps turns that into 0.33% and you add that to 99.73% and you’re very slightly positive. If you get mailers, this is a play.

Each royal was $16,000 (I never hit one of those), and each time I hit four deuces I earned $4,000. (I received several sets.) You also would get W2Gs for dealt quints ($1,600 — every 4,165 dealt hands) and dealt wild royals ($2,500 — every 5,415 hands).

Some of the $4,000 sets of deuces came with a lot more money. If I were dealt three deuces, for example, and connected on one of them, on each of the other four lines I’d get a quad ($80), straight flush ($200), quint ($320), or wild royal ($500). This happened several times.

The deal breaker was when I was dealt four deuces, a 54,144-to-1 hand that paid $20,000. I hit it shortly before Bonnie and I went on a month-long vacation. I hoped that staying away for a month would save my welcome.

Not to be. When I returned, my card wouldn’t work. No big surprise, really. But I had accumulated a number of points and if they were going to kick me out, I wanted my accumulated money before I left. In round numbers we were talking about $2,400.

I was told to call up Billy Paganetti, who owned the Peppermill in Reno as well as the Rainbow, and I could discuss this with him.

Being trespassed from a casino has been mentioned on at least 30 of our podcasts. I am very familiar with this concept. I was NOT trespassed. I was told I wasn’t welcome to play the machines, but I was not told that I was not welcome on the premises.

After a brief bit of phone tag, Mr. Paganetti cut to the chase and said that the slot club would have let me redeem $2,400 in free play had I actually collected it at the casino.  If I now wanted cash, it was only going to be $1,200 because I was at the Chairman level. Had I been at a lower level, it would only have been $800 in cash. He agreed to cut me a check for $1,200 and said I’d have it in the mail within a week.

I believed that I should get more. The boothlings (who were also cage workers) had not been informative about the slot club and I had just earned Chairman level. I believed (incorrectly, it turned out) that leaving my points in the club until I reached Chairman would allow me to redeem them at a higher rate. That would be true if I wanted cash. For free play, the redemption rate did not vary by tier level.

For a variety of reasons, I decided to take my beef to Gaming. I believed that I should have been able to transfer my points to somebody and let him play them off rather than be forced to accept the 50% rate. Mr. Paganetti said, “That’s your right and we’ll wait until we hear from Gaming before we cut the check.”

Next week I’ll explain more of what happened.

Before you head out to the Rainbow, it is my understanding that they have removed the NSU games. They have also removed two games returning more than NSU that I didn’t find. And I was not the only player booted. If you want to check it out anyway, knock yourself out.

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What Now?

Las Vegas casinos have become more aggressive at booting video poker players than they used to be. A number of pros and semi-pros, including myself, are down to a small number of places where they can play unrestricted. Or sometimes, play at all. Some players have no places left in town that welcome their action and have taken to regular trips out of town — or even out of state — so that they can still play.

So, what now?

A friend of mine suggested that I form a group and teach others to do what I do in return for a percentage of their action. That way I could capitalize on my knowledge even though I cannot physically play in many places.

I don’t think that would work for several reasons.

First, I have already written about a high percentage of my “tricks of the trade.” People who can learn from me, for the most part, already have. Or even if they haven’t learned yet, hundreds of my articles and podcasts are readily available. In general, you can’t sell what you’ve already given away for free. I still have occasional students come in and buy a few hours of private tutoring, but that isn’t nearly enough to support me.

Another problem with that idea is that most of my discoveries of profitable situations have been found while in the casino searching for the holes. No two casinos are identical. No two slot clubs are the same. And often the techniques that worked in a particular place six months ago are no longer available today. You must be in the casino working the promotions to find out that at this moment, four separate promotions are in affect at one time — and two of them are particularly lucrative. And to notice while in that casino, they don’t enforce this particular thing. And to hear scuttlebutt about what’s coming down the line at a third casino. And to find out that the theoretical on a certain bank of machines has been mis-set in the players’ favor. Or notice that a typo in the rules allows a one-off situation that will expire as soon as the casino realizes someone is exploiting it. If I’m not actively in a casino trying to beat it, I simply will not know enough about the current possibilities.

Another option is to talk the casino into allowing me to play under certain conditions. I’ve had some success with this, but more failures than successes. Every situation is different. Sometimes I can convince the General Manger that there are some extenuating circumstances that warrant reconsideration. Often the GM is simply not at all interested in changing his mind, whatever I say.

Sometimes it might make sense to continue to play, subject to whatever restrictions the casino has instituted. If you’ve been trespassed or told “Don’t play video poker no matter what!” then continuing to play is not an intelligent option. But a lesser restriction, such as “no mailers” and/or “no multipliers,” might still be beatable. It’s hard enough to eke out even a small edge when you get all the benefits, but sometimes it’s still possible with one hand tied behind your back.

Note that in the previous circumstance, the casino will likely be watching you. The first restriction was intended to get you to stop playing there, or maybe only to be able to play and lose. If you demonstrate that you can still play and win, further restrictions may just be around the corner. Getting lucky immediately after a partial restriction may end up being costly. If you take a month or two off and then come back and get lucky, sometimes you are allowed to continue to play.

A totally different option is to go down in stakes. There are very possibly several places where you could play for quarters or dollar single line where you would be welcome to play. The win-per-hour isn’t as good as where you are no longer welcome to play (otherwise it would have been on your list of places to play in the first place), but maybe it’s still enough.

For some folks, playing with an edge is not as important as playing. (This will never be me.) In general, folks like this generally won’t be excluded in the first place. Although these folks can hit some big jackpots and get thrown out by casinos who don’t understand the winning process, generally these players are recognized as profitable assets by the casino and allowed to play and lose.

A more drastic option is to retire from playing video poker. This can entail shifting to a different gambling game or perhaps giving up gambling altogether.  Although I’m personally nowhere near doing this, everyone has to make this choice for him or herself.

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How Do You Approach It?

I’m always on the lookout for non-video poker situations that I can turn into video poker teaching moments. It’s the only way I can continue to produce a weekly column after all these years.

As I mentioned in a recent column, Bonnie and I were cruising for three weeks and this happened while our ship was docked in Halifax, which is in Nova Scotia, Canada. Although on this evening, we could stay on shore until 6:30, we had enough fun much earlier than that and were sitting down to a dinner at Moderno, a restaurant on the ship. This is a Brazilian all-you-can eat steakhouse, where they keep bringing you about ten different kinds of meats until you’ve had enough.

First-time diners need some instruction about where the salad bar is, which meats are coming, and how you signal whether you want more food or are finished. Or perhaps not exactly finished but need to digest for a while before beginning again. It’s not particularly difficult, but there are some “house rules” so that everybody is on the same page.

Our server was Rita from Indonesia. When she gave us the information, she spoke rapidly with a strong accent and some mispronunciations. Listening intently, I caught about one-third of what she was saying. Bonnie and I were among the earliest diners, and I saw and heard her repeat this performance at two nearby tables over the next half hour. What was interesting to me is that each of the three tables handled it differently. I found it easy to compare the approaches with video poker players I have observed.

At one table, the woman berated her for not speaking better English and said that non-English-speaking immigrants created one of the biggest problems within the US these days and it made her very angry. Never mind that this happened in Canada on a ship with less than 10% of its employees from the United States. In addition, the Norwegian Dawn spent most of its time in International waters.

At the next table, the people just nodded and then rose to go get their salads. It’s unlikely these people understood everything Rita was saying because I saw the husband and wife looking at each other during Rita’s dissertation with expressions that indicated utter confusion. But they weren’t going to let that stop them. Time to eat!

At our table, I asked Rita to slow down and repeat what she just said. After two additional iterations of this, I was pretty sure I understood what she was saying. Bonnie still appeared to be in the dark, but I indicated to her that we should go get salads and I’d explain the rest while we were grazing on the lettuce and other vegetables. Which I did.

Okay. So how does this relate to video poker?

The table where the lady (rudely, in my opinion) berated Rita for not knowing better English reminded me of players who only know one game and when that game is not available any more get very angry about it. These people believe they deserve certain conditions and if the casinos remove those conditions, it’s because the casinos are greedy bastards.

It is definitely true that video poker conditions are less advantageous than they were several years ago. It is also true that opportunities still exist for the ones who can find and exploit them. If you are too busy complaining that things aren’t just how you want them, you’ll miss seeing the good deals that still exist.

At the table where the couple was ready to figure it out as they went, this reminded of players who don’t take the time to learn the ins and outs of the strategy and slot club before they begin. It’s expensive to play that way.

If video poker is a very minor part of your life and the sums you play for are minor to you, this methodology makes sense. It takes time and energy to become competent at this game and for many, it’s just not worth it.

It probably should also be noted that dining optimally at Moderno is much simpler than gambling optimally in a casino. So in this case, the “figure it out as we go” approach might indeed have been perfectly acceptable, although it’s not the approach I personally use. Perhaps this is because I think linearly and I’m not as intuitive as some others are.

It shouldn’t surprise you that I prefer the way of gaining information Bonnie and I used. After all, if I didn’t think it was best, I wouldn’t have done it that way.

Our way was to gently ask questions until at least one of us understood and then help each other if one of us learned faster than the other. As it turned out, Bonnie caught something I missed and so we both learned some things over salad.

The edges available in casinos are very small these days even for the most knowledgeable of players. If playing with an advantage is important to you, you must exploit every opportunity to figure out how to do it.

It can be argued that using the same approach at dinner that I use in a casino is a case of “if your only tool is a hammer then everything looks like a nail,” but we enjoyed the dinner, nonetheless.

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Learning a Second Game — Part II of II  

Last week I began a discussion of learning NSU Deuces Wild once you already knew 9/6 Jacks or Better. If you missed that article, it’s not hard to find.

If you’re going to or from a game covered by the Dancer/Daily Winners’ Guide series, that’s by far the most efficient place to start. You can learn the games systematically and completely by using those guides. It shortens the learning process considerably as much of the heavy lifting is done for you.

So, however you did it, we’ve reached the stage where you have a decent strategy and you know how to read it. It’s now time to practice, practice, practice on the computer.

How long do you need to practice on the computer? It depends on how good you want to get and how good of a student you are. If you wish to play at the professional level (which will be true for a small percentage of you), you need to practice until your accuracy level is in the 99%+ range — at least. If your goal is to play the game reasonably well, then a lower accuracy level will suffice.

If this is truly the second game you’ve tried to learn (which is what the article presumes, but lots of people reading the article will not be in that exact place), you will need to study considerably more than if this is the 15th game you’ve learned. The more games you know, the more you’ll find cases where “this game now is just like that game.” But if you don’t have that depth, and none of us did when we started, it’s going to take more study.

Different computer products have different learning tools built in. In Video Poker for Winners, you can ask the computer to show you hands at the Beginner level, the Intermediate level, and the Advanced level. It allows you to get better without becoming overwhelmed by being confronted with the most difficult hands at the start.

In WinPoker, there is a “Hard Hands” section. You can set it for whatever difference you wish between the correct play and the second-best play. If you set it for 3¢ while playing NSU, for example, you’ll never see the hand 3♦ 4♦ 7♦ K♣ Q♣ because the diamonds are more valuable than the clubs by considerably more than 3¢, but you will see 3♦ 4♦ A♦ K♣ Q♣ because that’s a much closer play. If you would have played the first hand incorrectly, then you’re not quite ready for this tool yet. But when you get the basics down, it allows you to concentrate on the hands that are likely to give you trouble.

WinPoker has another tool I use where I can plug in two or three cards and the machine will start with those and deal others. For example, in DDB, J♥ T♥ A♠ can go either way depending on the other two cards — and there are LOTS of possibilities with straight, flush, straight flush, and kicker penalties to either the hearts or spades or occasionally both.

If you start with those three cards and just let the computer deal, you can focus on a relatively tough combination and get it down. To be sure, sometimes you’ll be dealt pairs or trips or even a 4-card royal which isn’t a hand that should give you a problem at all. But you’ll get the relevant hands enough of the time that it becomes an efficient way to learn it.

On a personal note, I use both products. They each teach me in different ways and both support my goal of efficiently learning to play accurately.

Now we’re at the stage where you’ve learned to play “well enough” on the computer. It’s time to go to the casino. There is something about playing for real money that focuses your concentration.  You’re going to run into hands while playing that you don’t remember from practice. So, keep note paper handy and write such hands down. Do the best you can in the casino, consulting a strategy card if you have one, but be sure to look up the hands on the computer when you get back home. There will be times where you either mis-read the strategy card or mis-remembered the correct play. Checking when you get home will help correct either or both of those errors.

At this point, you’ve reached the stage where you can play the second game in the casino competently. You now must go back and relearn the first game! Because you’ve learned that J♥ T♥ is more valuable in NSU than Q♠ J♠, you must re-learn that the opposite is true in JoB. There will usually be concepts that got “overlapped” in your brain. It’s going to take some retraining to be able to keep them straight.

By the time you’ve gotten your knowledge of JoB back up to speed, you may find you’ve forgotten your NSU. Like they instruct with shampoo, rinse and repeat.

Finally, once you’ve got both games “mastered,” you still need to periodically review. In my case, I know a variety of games well, but I’m not equally up to speed in all of them. I usually know beforehand what game I’ll be playing on a given day. I’ve been doing this for 24 years and have written about all of these games and have taught classes in all of these games — and I still need to review if it’s a game I haven’t been playing recently. (Part of my experience is offset by the fact that at 71 years of age my memory isn’t what it used to be.)

Probably you will also need to review.

At a university, many professors study harder than the students do. The same in video poker. I will never reach the stage that I no longer need to study — and I already know a lot more than most of my readers ever will. Continual study is part of the price of playing the game well.

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Ignoring Kenny Rogers

I’ve listened to Kenny Rogers’ song The Gambler a zillion times. Since I’m not a live poker player, the advice he gives seemed to make sense. After all, how bad can “You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em” actually be?

Whether the preceding line of the song is correct or not, I noticed there’s one line of advice in that song that has to be very wrong for many poker players — but largely correct for video poker players. So, I said to myself, “Self, there’s a column there!” So here goes.

The offending line is, “You never count your money when you’re sitting at the table.”

Since I’m not a poker expert, you’re well advised to take everything I say here with a grain of salt. But if the standard is being more accurate than a Kenny Rogers song, I’m confident I can clear that bar.

In no-limit hold ’em, among others, a major goal is to stack your opponents. That means, however many chips he has, that’s how many you’re trying to get.

For any given stakes, say $2-$5, your decisions are made relative to the amount of money in the pot. If there’s $20 in the pot and everybody at the table has $200, you need to play your cards fairly straightforward. The stacks are only 10 times the amount in the pot.

But if everybody has $2,000 in front of them, you can play much more speculatively, because if the right cards come in, you can collect 100 times what’s in the pot rather than only the 10 times in the previous example.

So far, I’ve been talking about how much money your opponents have, but the amount of money you have matters too. If you have $20 in front of you and your opponents all have $2,000 — then from your point of view, all your opponents have is $20 each. They can have side pots amongst themselves, but that doesn’t affect you financially. For you to stack somebody, you need at least as many chips as he has. (Being short-stacked definitely affects your strategy — where you’re basically “fold or all in.” Consult poker experts for more complete advice on this.)

With this in mind, it’s clear that, at least approximately, you need to know how much you have and how much your opponents have. This is counter to Rogers’ “You never count your money when you’re sitting at the table” advice.

In video poker, however, Kenny Rogers’ advice is generally spot on. If you’re trying to decide whether to hold three, four, or five cards from AAA33, there is no line on the strategy card that says, “Check the amount of money in your wallet first!” Players who adjust their strategy based on their bankroll are giving up EV every time they do so.

It definitely is important to consider your bankroll before you sit down to play and choose the particular game and denomination you’re going to play. But once you’ve made that choice you should make the highest EV play at all points.

One exception to this would be if you’re playing Ultimate X and you’re running out of money. If you’re playing the Ten Play version, you should never play a 100-coin hand when you have less than 145 credits (or more money in your pocket or otherwise close at hand.)

Why 145? It starts with knowing that if you play five credits per line (50 credits total), you can play off any existing multipliers without creating any new ones.  

If you play 100 credits and don’t earn any credits (i.e., you drew no paying hands), you left no multipliers on the game.  So, you take your 45 remaining credits and go home. If you play 100 credits and earn at least five credits, you will have at least 50 credits to play off all the multipliers on the game, again leaving no multipliers on the game.

So long as you earn at least five credits, you will have earned multipliers for the next hand — and you want to play those off five-credits per line, meaning 50 coins, before you abandon the machine to others. There are “fleas” who go around checking if you’ve abandoned any multipliers and you don’t want to be the person to feed those fleas.

There are a number of areas where video poker and live poker are played differently. In my just-completed video poker semester, there were several poker players who attended regularly. Comparing a draw to an unsuited KQJT with QJT9, I would explain the first had eight cards to complete the straight and nine cards to give you a high pair. The second hand also had eight cards to complete the straight but only six cards to give you a high pair.

“Aha!” one poker player would translate into a language she understood, “17 outs versus 14.” Sort of, but not really. In poker, an “out” is a card that will beat another player. In video poker, a card to give you a straight (paying 20 coins) is four times as valuable as a card that gives you a pair of queens (paying 5 coins.) All outs are not created equal.

I still enjoy hearing The Gambler occasionally whether it gives good advice or not. Bonnie and I dance the Texas Two Step and this song has a good beat for that. I never look to popular music of any decade to teach me to play games — professionally anyway. There are a number of songs through the years that have provided “words to live by.” But not “words to gamble by.”

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Using callipygian in a Sentence

I am perfectly content eating meals by myself so long as I have a book with me. I have a goal of reading one book a week for pleasure, along with however many I need to read to prepare for podcast interviews. Most of our interviews do not require reading a book beforehand, but there are five or ten a year that do.

On this particular day, I was reading 500 Words You Should Know by Caroline Taggart — a book I had picked up at the library. I have a decent vocabulary, and I figured I would know the vast majority of these words anyway, but a refresher course is good now and then.

This book was way more complicated than what I was expecting. Many of the words were basically unusable because words that 99% of my audience don’t know aren’t good to use. Occasionally using atavistic or ratiocination or amanuensis is probably okay, but regularly using a bunch of them makes readers turn away. Although I could live with it if people respected and admired me for a fine vocabulary, I know from experience that reactions to me using a lot of complicated typically include such comments as, “That Dancer guy is really an a**hole!”

Unfortunately, the words used as previous examples were some of the easier ones in this book! For example, in the first chapter I came across callipygian, which refers to having nicely shaped buttocks. I’m not sure if it’s better if my audience does or doesn’t know this word. If they do know it, it has an extra degree of un-usability in today’s world of sexual harassment and #metoo. While I did memorize the word, I figured I would never use it.

I was mistaken.

On this particular Saturday, I was playing on the first day of a two-day slot tournament at the M. Although I don’t go to all of their events, this one was lucrative enough to interest me. As is typical for that casino, they give each invited guest one tournament entry per day and you can earn up to two more per day based on your play. In addition, playing $2,000 coin-in on a video poker machine (less required on slots) earns you a free seafood buffet that retails for a nickel less than $45. Since the same coin-in can be used to earn extra tournament entries and qualify for the buffet, you can figure out where I ate that day. And you can also bet that I had a book with me.

Before the tournament, you swipe your player’s card at a kiosk and print out however many tournament entries you have. Some people come in just for the free entry, but if I’m going to take the time and energy to show up, I’m getting the extra ones as well. Getting two good scores out of six is much easier than getting two good scores out of two. So, on this day I had my three entries.

They have some permanent employees in the Special Events department, but they hire part-timers as well. They have different promotions occurring on different days, so having an army of temporary workers allows them to staff their events without having more people on their payroll than they usually need. On this day, the lady checking to verify that the name on my entries, player’s card, and ID were all the same was probably 80 years old and I had never seen her before. She had a nametag that said, “Mary.”

Although I’m hypothesizing, Mary didn’t look like she needed the job. She looked instead like she really liked people and was looking for something interesting to do with her time. She checked what she needed to check efficiently, noticed the title of the book I was carrying, and pleasantly asked, “What new word did you learn today?”

Mary’s tone of voice had me guessing that this lady was a retired elementary schoolteacher. Her question was friendly, and I could just sense her telling generations of school children that if you can’t use a word in a sentence, you don’t know it well enough.

So, I told her. “Callipygian.”

She scrunched up her face and said in an interested voice. “Oh! I don’t know that one. I like learning new words! What does it mean?”

I now had a choice to make. There are lots of ways to say, “nicely shaped buttocks.” Some you could say in elementary school. Some you shouldn’t. Some appropriate to say to a nice lady. Some not so appropriate.

I made a judgment call that Mary was a good sport and had a nice sense of humor, so I told her straight out.

“It means you have a beautiful ass!”

She looked a bit startled, and then smiled with delight. “Nobody has said that to me in decades! You have really made my day!”

Her delight made my day as well. My scores in those tournament rounds were very un-remarkable, but my day was memorable, nonetheless. That was fun! And I’m learning some new words in case I run into that lady again.

And the next word will have nothing to do with the size and shape of her body parts. As a one-off situation, this time was fine. If I only gave her words that had some possible sexual connotation, it would either imply that I’m a really creepy guy or maybe I was hitting on her. I certainly don’t want her making either conclusion.