How to assure winning at slots

Dude, the chip on your shoulder is showing.

MickeyDavis- according to my collection of charts and graphs, the projected time will be 3.5 hours, give or take 30 minutes.

Two things.

The only slot strategy that I ever heard is that some slots are set for higher payback where there is a greater chance of guest traffic hearing a win. With there no longer being many coin machines, I don't know if this still applies? This would mean play machines near main traffic aisles or if near check in if applicable or near a buffet line.

I actually had a friend who played on Kenny Uston's blackjack teams. I was with him one time where the casino advertised the loosest slots and the payback percentage. Now I'm sure if someone advertises that they have a certain percentage payback, that at least one machine in the casino must have it, in order to stay in good graces with the Nevada Gaming Board. He asked the slot attendant if she knew where that machine or machines were. The slot attendant said she didn't know. I wonder if a casino must disclose to you where that slot machine or machines are, by Nevada law?

That's a pigeon

Clarification: After hitting on the switcheroo, you will want to change to a different spot. The machine gets really pissed when it figures out it has been tricked. I feel sorry for the next person sitting down at that machine but that's just the way it is.

you just need to find a machine on its upcycle.

Own one

I press the buttons with my forehead --- or my foreskin as I like to call it. That usually works.

This IS a joke, right?

Let's hope so