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Bobby Vegas: The Cat in the Hat

Bobby Vegas: Friends Don’t Let Friends Play Triple-Zero Roulette

Why gamble when some high roller buys the hat off my head for $1,720?

I’d come to town to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my favorite dance spot ,The Pinky Ring, squire my aspiring advantage player Sean, meet music friends, take meetings on projects, and of course hit the video poker hard.

Sean offered to get me a comped room at Aria ($500) and let me use his premium Caesars and MGM cards, so I didn’t have to pay for parking (saving $125 ). I always rent a car, my big splurge, and this trip it was $35 a day. Not too shabby.

I hustled over to Aria, checked in, and hopped over to Bellagio.

The Pinky Ring with Bruno Mars and the Hooligans is a madhouse, totally over capacity. The hosts are frantic, so it takes an unprecedented 20 minutes to get in.

I’m dancing with two lovely ladies — Jenny from Seattle and Serena from Santa Barbara — for a good 45 minutes (for perspective, I was older than both of their ages combined), then head up the riser to stand by the sound and light guys, have a Perrier, and catch my breath.

An inebriated high roller comes up to me holding out a wad of $20s and says, “I’m buying your hat.” Entitled? Anyone?

I’m wearing my iconic Kenyan Kente’ bucket hat, Afro-centric design crossed with Keith Harring.

I love this hat. Everywhere I go (Costco, on the street, even earlier at the Pinky Ring), I get compliments on it. I’ve been trying to find a copy online, but no luck, even with a Google image search. The guy I bought it from for $20 at a (of course) dance event had disappeared.

This swaggering high-roller has the back-center-court $10,000 VIP booth with Bruno in the next booth. Of the six lovely young ladies in his, one might have been his girlfriend and the other five her girlfriend’s. Who knows?

So I say to him, “Sorry, man but this hat? It’s irreplaceable. One of a kind. I can’t sell it.”

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out some purple and yellow Wynn chips, $500 and $1,000 each, definitely a big-time player in town for a $50K weekend. He puts a purple on top of the $20s.

“Man, you’re making this really hard …”

Then he places a yellow $1,000 chip on the pile.

Stunned, I take the $1700+. That’s 86-to-1. Best bet in ages.

He gets the hat. I later see one of the ladies wearing it.

I’ve been in town 48 hours. I cashed the chips. The next day I find the material online.

Cool cats? Get ready for Bobby Vegas bucket hats.

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Back Under the Knife

Bob Dancer

In the past year and a half, I’ve undergone hip replacement surgery on my right side and rotator cuff (shoulder) surgery on my left side. I’m hoping to schedule a third orthopedic procedure in mid-April. After no such procedures ever, my body seems to be falling apart all over, all at once. One of the disadvantages of not dying young, I suppose.

Because of arthritis, I’m scheduled for a ligament reconstruction and tendon interposition on my right thumb. The surgery consists of removing the trapezium bone on the affected side and replacing it with a “unused” tendon from my wrist. This has a very high rate of success and is usually good for 10 to 15 years. Since I’m 78 years old now, there’s a good chance that 10 to 15 years will be “enough.” Don’t know for sure.

I’ve put this operation off for a while. I’ve tried medication and steroidal injections. To no avail. It’s now very painful to even sign my name, and many things I used to do (snapping my fingers, opening jars that aren’t really simple, unlocking some doors with a key) are now beyond my abilities. There is one key I need to use to gain access to a private mailbox company after hours. I need to take along pliers to turn the key because I can’t generate enough torque without the extra leverage. I hope I’m not observed by a policeman who concludes that gaining access to a building with pliers after dark is a suspicious activity. I can probably explain things satisfactorily, but you never know. If he thinks that my pliers look like a gun — anything could happen.

The problem with the surgery is that it includes a fairly long recovery period. I will need to wear three different types of cast/brace/splint for two weeks each after the surgery. I’ll have some physical therapy somewhere along the way. Since this is my dominant hand, this will interfere with such things as eating, dressing, showering, and other bathroom activities. I haven’t tried brushing my teeth left-handed before. We’ll see. Fortunately, I don’t live alone, and Bonnie is willing to help me if I need it. She was a nurse for 40 years and the things I’ll need shouldn’t be all that strange to her. The doctor doesn’t want me driving — but I’m probably not going to obey that suggestion. I have practiced driving left-handed and believe I can do so safely. I will probably text less than I do now.

How this affects my gambling activities remains to be seen. Fortunately, I’m in a position to shut things down gambling-wise for a few months if I need to. I’m going to try to have a backlog of these weekly blogs already prepared before I undergo the procedure, but I may need to shut this blog down while I recover. Even though I use my thumb when I use a keyboard, I think I can temporarily revert to a fingers-only technique should I need to. It’ll take longer, but I should still be able to do it.

I’ll miss at least one of my monthly improvisational showcases. Not that I’ll necessarily need to — I can still perform most of the skits wearing a brace — but the leader of my group restricts cast members with “devices” (walkers, slings, splints, crutches, etc.) from performing. I’m scheduling my surgery for April 23 because there’s a monthly showcase on April 19 and that should allow me to only miss the May showcase and be back for June. (www.lvimprov.com

Bonnie thinks this arthritis is a sort of carpal tunnel problem due to so many years of gambling activities. Although carpal tunnel is a wrist ailment and my thumb is a nearby-yet-different part of the body, I’m skeptical that this disease is due to repetitive use of my thumb. I don’t use my thumb much when I play, and I have a family history of arthritis. But wherever it came from, it hurts a lot and I’m going to get it taken care of — I hope.

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Don’t mess with Texas

The Grinch who stole Dallas has struck again. Already Dr. Miriam Adelson put her malign stamp on the Dallas Mavericks by trading away their most beloved player, Luka Doncic, for the equivalent of two sagging basketballs and a rusty air pump. Now she’s hiking ticket prices 8.5%. (Premium seats will cost 20%.) To add insult to injury, the bad news was rolled out on the same day that a fourth starting player, Kyrie Irving, joined a swelling disabled list. With Dallas in 10th place in the Western Conference and running on fumes, playoff hopes are undoubtedly toast.

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Hockey Knights in Vegas Episode 101: Adin Hill, the Trade Deadline and More!

Hockey Knights in Vegas is BACK!

The trade deadline is 48 hours away, and the league’s contenders are starting to make moves for their run to the Stanley Cup. The VGK will have somewhere between zero and 11.2 million to go shopping. Kelly McCrimmon has said repeatedly that the VGK will have a quiet year. Do you believe him? Eddie & Chris scour the league for what the VGK might have up their sleeve.

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An Interesting Case Study

Bob Dancer

Someone told me about a casino, but swore me to secrecy about writing its name, or even the state it is in. If too many strong players knew the details about this casino, the casino couldn’t afford to continue the excellent benefits it now provides — which ruins the play for all players. But I can describe those benefits.

These benefits are for “semi” high rollers — that is, it requires $40,000 coin-in monthly if you’re a slot player, or $80,000 coin-in a month if you’re a video poker player. While these amounts aren’t for everybody, there’s a significant number of players who could play that much if they were profitably motivated. 

For the video poker players, the best game is NSU Deuces Wild. In addition to a 0.05% slot club, along with reasonable comps, if you play the $80,000 coin-in a month you receive $100 in free play, twice a month. This is a slightly positive game — not worth travel expenses unless you lived in that city or had another really good play close by so you could “double dip” when you visited that city. Most players will play lesser games than NSU, and play them badly, so the casino makes out okay even with this promotion.

Slot players, however, receive $1,000 in free play, twice a month, along with a 0.1% slot club and reasonable comps. This is more than a 5% return.

If you know nothing about playing slots with an advantage, this is not a good deal. The slots at this casino return about 91% on average. Playing games with an expected 9% loss to receive 5% in benefits isn’t a winning play.

But what if you knew something about slot machines?

I’m going to describe a hypothetical “Orange Bob” machine. This machine has mini, minor, and major meters that each reset to five spins — and then they rise when you get particular combinations. When the meters are at five, five, and five, the game returns 75%. Nobody with a clue would play it at that level — but there are many clueless players at this and other casinos. 

Whenever the mini, minor, and major meters increase by one unit, the return on the game increases 0.5%, 1%, and 1.5%, respectively. If you come across a game where the meters are at 10, 10, and 10, the worth of the game would be the 75% it started at, an extra 5% because of the rise in the mini, an extra 10% because of the rise in the minor, and an extra 15% because of the rise in the major. This turns it into a game that returns 105% and is well worth playing — especially since if you start playing now, the meters will continue to rise until you hit one or more of them. 

Also, assume that while the exact numbers I cited in the previous paragraph are only known to a few players, there are a lot of players with a general idea. These players have their own “strike points,” when they estimate a game is positive. These players search the casino for such opportunities — so a lot of the time you find a good situation when somebody has just given up on playing a game when it’s positive.

It could be that this player who leaves the machine in a good situation has no idea of what makes the game positive. It could be that this player ran out of money. It could be that this player had to catch a plane and could no longer stick around until the relevant meters went back to reset values.

The game can be played for five different denominations, with five different “number of coins” for each of these denominations. The range is from a $1 total bet to $50. 

Players seeking to play $40,000 coin-in per month will avoid the lower denomination/coins combinations, simply because each time you find the play you might get anywhere from 10 to 500 spins. You won’t find playable situations very often, and if you’re only playing $1 or $2 per spin, you’re not going to come close to reaching your $40,000 coin-in goal.

There are numerous games similar to these Orange Bob games, and if you know about enough of them, you can do all right.

The interesting part about this, that I never considered while playing video poker, is that you can play “on the come.” 

Normally, without the free play, you would wait until the machines (with expected meter rise before you hit it) were higher than 100% before you started to play — assuming you were attempting to play these machines at a profit.

With 5% in benefits, however, you can start to play when the machines (with expected meter rise before you hit it) are at 97% or so. Yes, you’re giving up 3% to the casino, but the casino is giving you 5% to do so. So, it’s not a bad deal.

If you’re looking for 97% or higher games, and most of your competition is looking for 100% or higher games, you’re going to find a lot of opportunities to play. Even with everyone and his brother checking the machines all day long, you’ll find plays because you’re willing to play at lower starting numbers than most of the others do.

I find this an interesting concept.

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Burger & Fries (Station Casinos)

Has hell frozen over? Station Casinos is offering several late-night breakfast specials—from $3.99 (pancakes) to $9.99 (steak & eggs)—and a hamburger & fries for $5.99 served 24/7 in its various coffee shops. We thought it was no longer in Station’s playbook to offer value like this, but darned if that burger deal isn’t good enough to make the Top Ten. 

We haven’t seen a deal like this from Station in years. The casino company that became a powerhouse by catering to locals and leaning on value did an about-face coming out of the pandemic, essentially taking a margin-widening tack that meant the end of buffets and pretty much any kind of deal in the restaurants. The restaurant program at Station is outstanding, it’s just not predicated on value the way it used to be. That seems to be changing. We discuss the reasons why in the March LVA. Here, we concentrate on the particulars of this exceptional deal.

Where and When

In judging a value, where and when are important factors. If a deal is available for three hours one day a week at some obscure location, then it almost doesn’t matter how good it is. For this one, the where is several of the Station coffee shops, which means locations all over the city. They are the Brass Forks at Palace, Sunset, and Santa Fe Stations, the Lucky Pennys at Green Valley Ranch and Red Rock, and Game On at Boulder Station. That’s a pretty good where, and the when is as good as it gets—it’s available 24/7 at all the locations.

Bring Your Boarding Pass

The deal is available to Station Casinos Boarding Pass Members only. When you order, the first thing the waitress asks for is your players card. No problem. If you don’t have one, get one on your way in. It’s a smart move; they’re building their database.

The Burger

It’s a cheeseburger, served with lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickles. Mustard, ketchup, and mayo are at the ready. It comes with a mini-bucket of fries (no substitutions). You almost can’t find a cheeseburger for $10 or less anymore and you won’t find one this good for $6 anywhere. You can make it a double for an additional $2.99. A Pepsi with unlimited refills was $3.99.

There’s More

We tried only the burger & fries, but at the same time, Station added four late-night breakfast specials: pancakes $3.99, eggs with biscuits and gravy $4.99, Deuces Wild (classic eggs and meat) $4.99, and steak and eggs $9.99. These are all served 11 p.m. to 6 a.m. daily. Similar to burgers, the price of breakfasts has gone up everywhere, nearly doubling in some spots (egg shortage?). Hence, this is another good play, albeit not with the same availability.

Station BC (Before COVID)

For those who weren’t around or have just forgotten, Station Casinos used to be the King of the Deals. Perhaps the most famous was its 49¢ complete breakfast back in the ‘80s (people used to order six of them at a time). Even considering the time period, it ranks as one of Vegas’ all-time great deals. Then there was a $9.99 king crab leg special in the ‘90s that was just plain ridiculous. After that, the incredible Feast Buffet ran all the way to 2020, which was the last time a Station property has been in the Top Ten, aside from the traditional nod to Durango Casino when it opened. Quite a change in philosophy. Food courts ain’t gonna get you on the Top Ten.

The Verdict

We liked everything about this deal and it’s currently #5 in our Top Ten Values list. And this isn’t all from Station. The Oyster Bar at Red Rock has good daily specials, including $1 oysters and clams on the half shell on Tuesdays. And the Oyster Bar at Palace Station has just initiated its own “Oyster Tuesdays” with $1.25 oysters. Maybe there’s more to come. The vast Station network has the capacity to buy in bulk and create deals like these. Whatever the reason—Anthony Curtis suggests in his March COUPONOMY column that the casinos, as a group, might be anticipating a slowdown—they’ve finally made some moves to bring back that old Station Casinos feel. It’s good to see.

And yes, this was the bill for two. Nice.

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Resorts World implodes

Malaysia we have a problem. The signature American attraction of Genting Group, its $4.3 billion Resorts World Las Vegas, is a dud, a flop, dead in the water, stale, old news. Why do we say this? Because when 4Q24 numbers were disclosed last week, it was revealed that Resorts World LV had cash flow of a bare $1 million. And why is that significant? Because it’s the customary measuring stick for return on investment. Meaning that Resorts World’s ROI for a period that included Formula One Weekend and New Year’s Eve was so small you’d need an electron microscope to see it, a tiny fraction of a percentage point. (It was $58 million in 4Q23, for the record.)

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Strip explodes in January

Bobby Vegas: What to do while waiting for your MRB

Between the twin disappointments that were Formula One Weekend in November and Super Bowl weekend earlier this month, the Las Vegas Strip saw an extraordinary upsurge of gambling. Can it last? Who knows. It’s as unexpected as it is welcome, coming after six straight months of decline. Strip casinos erupted 22.5%, hitting $840 million. Statewide, casinos jumped 12.5% for over $1.4 billion.

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