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The Greatest Coupon I Never Used

Bobby Vegas: Friends Don’t Let Friends Play Triple-Zero Roulette

In Vegas, there is literally a coupon for everything.

Meanwhile, it’s been a great week for this scuffler.

I just discovered the hilarious Kristen Bell movie Queenpin, about two extreme couponers who sell stolen coupons on the web and make millions. Okay, they go to jail, but still … they totally capture the couponer zeitgeist.

Of course, this is the kind of thing that drives Anthony crazy and “ruins it for the rest of us.” Agreed. Last year, in one example of this, a bar released a coupon that was too good to be true. Anthony warned them it would be a problem and sadly, it’s not always fun being right.

Still, Queenpin is a very fun movie with the ever-perky Kristen Bell and a small part for Vince Vaughan, who just looks … tired.

Bringing it back around to Vegas, some buds were there for CES. One called, then said he’d get back to me after dinner; they were eating at some Gordon Ramsey place. I knew I wouldn’t hear from them again, being their big night in Vegas. I did receive a “Sorry, I’ll text you later.”

I replied, “Everyone’s drunk or getting there, you’re trying to decide what strip club to go to, and you’ve lost your buy-in twice at the tables. It’s okay, John — you’re in Vegas. Enjoy yourself.”

I was, not surprisingly, right on all fronts. But things really took off when his buddy’s wife said, “Let’s go see some titties.” Why couldn’t I have married a girl like that? You’ll find out in a hot minute.

Did you know lap dances at Sapphire are now like $300 for 15-20 minutes? Well, John Boy paid for three. No wonder Vegas is making so much money.

That reminds me of one of my only other strip club stories. I’m not a strip club guy, but a client demanded I take him to Spearmint Rhino. There, he proceeded to tell the girls he was a plastic surgeon from New York City, thinking of relocating to Vegas. He had a lot of interesting “interactions” with the ladies, asking him to evaluate their boob jobs.

And this, in a way, brings me all the way back to the greatest coupon I never used.

It was years ago and I saved it, but couldn’t find it when I was writing this post. I know it wasn’t from the Member Rewards Book. It might’ve been from American Casino Guide. Wherever it came from, it was for a free lap dance! No kidding.

I just love the absurdity of asking some lovely for a lap dance and handing her a coupon! OMG!

And that’s the beauty of … Well, there are many things about this concept that are beautiful. But really, if you look hard enough, in Vegas there’s a coupon for everything.

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Wynn, Station dominate; Illinois collapses

Thanks in part to a boost from the Las Vegas Grand Prix, high-end Wynn Resorts was able to “squash forecasts,” according to an impressed Carlo Santarelli of Deutsche Bank. His price target on WYNN stock leapt from $124/share to $132 on the strength of a 4Q23 that surpassed Wall Street‘s expectations. (J.P. Morgan analyst Joseph Greff added $5 to his $113/share price target.) Wynn Resorts brought in fourth-quarter cash flow of $632 million, $69 million more than Street analysts anticipated. Wynn’s Macao assets outperformed, with the older ones achieving 74% of pre-Covid cash-flow volume: “We believe this is likely to put to rest some of the structural concerns around the Peninsula in general.” The company’s Chinese flotilla also maintained its share (14.5%) of the mass market.

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Maryland drops; Koch caper; Borgata escapes

While gamblers in Ohio were playing more than ever, citizens of the Free State cut back their play substantially. Maryland casinos were down 8.5% last month and nobody came out ahead of the game. Despite slowing 9%, MGM National Harbor comfortably led with $66 million. Maryland Live suffered much less, down 2.5% for $57 million. Still wilting is Horseshoe Baltimore, -17% to $14.5 million. That waterfront location has backfired rather sadly. Ocean Downs was down 13% for $6 million and Hollywood Perryville slipped 7.5% to $6.5 million. Century Casinos‘ takeover of Rocky Gap Resort has coincided with a declivity in its fortunes, with January bringing a 36.5% collapse to $3 million. The only consolation was that Maryland gambling halls were still doing 12% better than in 2019.

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Playing With House Money

Bob Dancer

The expression that titles this blog has at least two different meanings. First, it could mean you have some sort of a cash windfall, so losing it would be less painful than if you earned the money doing hard labor. Second, it could mean that you have already exceeded expectations, so even if you don’t win in the current situation, it’s not so bad. An example of the second meaning was heard in the first round of the football playoffs between the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Philadelphia Eagles. It was said that nobody expected the Bucs to even make the playoffs, so they were playing with house money.

In both meanings, the word “house” refers to a casino — at least originally. 

Although the phrase is fairly common and is understood by most adults, I think it is based on an entirely false understanding of what “house money” really is. The fact that this expression is used so frequently means that most people think of “house money” incorrectly.

Let’s say there’s a casino drawing and the winner receives $50,000 in cash. Lo and behold, this time you are the lucky winner! Congratulations! 

Now, after you’ve won the drawing, does the fifty grand belong to you or the casino? I think it belongs to you. Whatever your wealth/bankroll was before the drawing, it’s now $50,000 greater. 

If you’re a multimillionaire, the extra money is nice, but doesn’t change your fiscal priorities very much. If you are struggling financially, that much money can literally be life-changing.

Of those for whom the money is life-changing, it’s prudent to think twice on what you wish to do with these funds. Seeking advice from an advisor might be a good idea. 

There are tax considerations to this win. If you want to think of this as $35,000 after taxes, it’s probably smarter than thinking of it as $50,000. It’s easy to spend however much you have in front of you, but next April 15, Uncle Sam will still be waiting with his hand out. Not preparing for that is an expensive mistake.

It may well be that a new car is highest on your list of current needs, but just because you have $50,000 in your pocket doesn’t mean you need to get a vehicle with all the bells and whistles. This $50,000 windfall is usually a one-time event. Helping yourself solve two or three financial problems is usually better than just solving one.

Calling the windfall “house money” takes away from recognizing the importance of making the correct decision. It’s your money and you only have one life. Make the most of it!

I heard a funny story recently — supposedly true. It’s not exactly in line with what this column is about — but I have some extra space so here goes:

A famous poker player won a $1,000,000 prize at a tournament. He was asked what he was going to do with the money.

“Well, I have some people I owe money to. I’ll pay them off.”

“But what about the rest?”

“They’ll just have to wait.”

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Sands “solid”; Ditto Ohio; Boardwalk notes

Fourth-quarter results from the far-flung empire of Las Vegas Sands were lauded by J.P. Morgan analyst Joseph Greff as “solid.” He wrote that they “should be viewed favorably in relation to recently subdued investors’ expectations and China-macro-concern-driven awful investor sentiment.” Looking ahead to this year and the next, he projected continued mass-market-propelled growth for Sands in both Macao and especially Singapore (which is really driving the bus right now), where Sands enjoys a duopoly.

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BIG DEBUT: A LOOK AT NEW SLOTS FOR 2024

This post is syndicated by the Las Vegas Advisor for the 888 casino group. Anthony Curtis comments on the 888 article introduced and linked to on this page.

AC Says:

            In this article, John Grochowski takes a look at four new slots and one video poker game he saw (and liked) during the G2E industry conference in November, including one of the NFL-branded games that everyone’s been clamoring about. The article was written fresh off the conference, so these games are just now making their way to casino floors. The descriptions provide insight into the experience that each game offers and give prospective players a head start on understanding what they’re rooting for while playing (the learning curve on the more complicated slots can be steep). In one description, Grochowski touches on the manufacturers’ tactic of using “persistence bonuses” to stimulate increased play. It’s a cursory discussion, but it shines some light on the psychology of slot machine design. Also of interest is the video poker variant that incorporates free-game bonuses, a staple of the new slot games, but that I haven’t seen before in video poker.

This article was written by John Grochowski in association with 888Casino.

BIG DEBUT: A LOOK AT NEW SLOTS FOR 2024

Every autumn, game manufacturers and other casino suppliers show off their wares at the Global Gaming Expo in Las Vegas.

Included are hundreds of slot machines and other electronic games that will vie for space on casino floors in the coming years. You’ll see the new slots first in live casinos, still a larger market than online casinos in the United States. But many will be adapted as online slots, so keep your eyes open a little down the road.

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Tender Crush (Rio)

Tender Crush (Rio) 2

Las Vegas’ newest food hall, the Canteen at the Rio has opened. It has some interesting outlets and we’ll eventually try them all, but we wanted to get one in right away,, so where to start? Easy choice. Everyone’s crowing about Tender Crush having the best chicken tenders (we call them fingers) in town. Really? Better than the Crown & Anchors? OK, let’s find out.

Canteen Food Hall

First the venue. The Canteen Food Hall is in part of the space that was the Carnival World Buffet. Not the entire space—the buffet was huge—but on a big part of the footprint, right across from the sports book. There’s seating if you want to eat there or you can take out. Ordering is easy. They even accept cash (what?). They take your cell number and text when the order is ready, so you can mosey over to the book to watch a game or play a bit if you like.

Tenders

The tenders come crispy or grilled, three to an order for $10. Then there are about 10 choices of dipping sauce that are $2 each. Or you can have them tossed in a sauce for $12. There’s also a crispy chicken sandwich, also $10. We opted for the crispy tenders straight up and the sandwich. So what do you dip chicken fingers in? If you’re like us, you dip ’em in hot sauce and ranch dressing. But of the nine sauces available—Harlem hot sauce, lime honey mustard, bird pepper, etc.—there was no ranch. We settled for the closest thing, buttermilk dill.

More

They also serve kale, beans, and mac ‘n’ cheese sides ($7), fries ($5), New York drafts ($9), and a “Coney Island Cooler” made from vodka, tequila, and rum ($15). That Cooler sounds good, but we didn’t partake.

Verdict

These are good fingers. Big ones (three is plenty) and made from real chicken breast. Less than awesome is the breading: tasty, yes, but made from cornmeal we think with no crunch at all, which is important. And buttermilk dill is OK, but we prefer ranch. We like and recommend these, but not over Crown’s. Oh, the sandwich is good, too. On to the next at Canteen. Tony Luke’s cheesesteaks anyone?

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Vegas vaults; Wynn winning; Mega-Jottings

Vegas remains resilient; NFL reverses field

After all the hype and hoopla of Formula One in November, the real story may be December. Las Vegas Strip revenue alone was $905 million, an 11% leap from 2022—and a 53% moonshot over 2019. Similarly, locals winnings of $241 million were up 7% from the previous December and 10% higher than in 2019, while the statewide tally ($1.4 billion) vaulted 35% from 2019 … heretofore considered the Good Old Days.

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