My new pen

Very cool but theres no way you're coming to my house and secretly taking a picture of my meat!

J

What if there was a natural disaster, a flood, hurricane, tornado, fire, etc and you had to evacuate?

Would you grab your meat and beat it, or have other priorities?

Looters now know about that 20% coupon. That and the milk-duds. You better buy more ammo.

You owe me a new keyboard and a cup of coffee.
Thats funny right there, I don't care who you are!

Hmmm.... tough one,i'd have to chew on it a bit.

Oh wow. I'm curious how many of us bought any of this crap? All i can remember getting are the "seahorses" that came in a little seed packet looking thing. I was sooooooo disappointed.

I also remember absolutely begging my mom for the dollar or whatever to buy the bill changer(looked a ..ahem..personal cigarette roller someone told me later in life,i digress in quotes no less),you know, the one "put in a one..out pops a $5, put in a $5 and out pops a $10" and so on. I swore i would pay her back in no time,i promised on my dogs grave that i swore i would take care of. I didn't get it. At least ralphie got his lil' orphan annie and got disappointed for real.

I think i did get the X-ray glasses that i thought would've been so cool.

J

Why yes, AlanLeroy bought that crap. When AlanLeroy was but a tyke, he came across a catalog for Vick Lawston’s House of a Thousand Mysteries. AlanLeroy read the catalog from cover to cover and was enthralled with its contents. He saved his hard earned pennies and nickels until he was finally ready to place his order: 1 Pair of X-Ray Glasses, 1 How to Saw a Woman in Half Trick and 1 Vanishing Head Illusion. He waited patiently for a few weeks until finally the magic day arrived….in the form of a small box from Vick Lawston’s House of a Thousand Mysteries.

Upon opening the box, AlanLeroy spied a note from Vick Lawston informing him that the prized X-Ray Glasses which AlanLeroy wanted…that he coveted…that he bragged with anticipation to his schoolmates about; were out of stock. Vick’s Monkey, Pumpernickel substituted another Item that Vick was sure AlanLeroy would enjoy.

AlanLeroy received his first….his first ever…Whoopie Cushion at age 6. He was crushed. The letdown changed his life. He made the best of his new Whoopie Cushion, but never liked Monkeys after that. His life course changed from a Magician with X-Ray Vision to a Prankster with Whoopie Cushions and other novelty products.


Vick’s Catalog


That Rat Pumpernickle

Wait a minute…why is AlanLeroy talking like Don Diego?

And just FYI. Amazon is having a great sale on Stink Bombs...36 Stinky and Smelly Bombs for $8.50.

36 Stinky and Smelly--Stink Bombs.

Oh..and Liquid Ass is on sale too.

Liquid Ass

Some of the reviews are kind of funny.

Did you mean the "sea monkeys"?

I most certainly did mean sea-monkeys,i was testing to see if anyone caught the obvious gaff.

Did i mean sea-monkeys?,PFFT.

J